The Memories of Night | 18+

𝗙𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲

≫ ──── ««•◦ ✪ ◦•»» ──── ≪

A part of Astrid died tonight.

The flame flickered out, I watched it, I watched her humanity start to wither away when she saw her best friend's face. Or what was left of it, she had been maimed so horribly that I nearly threw up. But Astrid crumbled, that wail of agony that ripped out of her chest was so deep, so wide, I wasn't sure how to make it easier on her. Not better, it would never be better, Hunter and Jennifer had been her family when she didn't have one. Now, she feels alone. I understood the feeling, but I mourned, and Astrid couldn't. She didn't know how. Her anger was a lethal weapon, they forged a weapon out of anger, but Astrid didn't want to use it, I could tell she was so, so, tired. A child who was forced to kill, and now she's an adult who knows nothing else, it must be exhausting.

We arrived in Manhatten a few hours ago, staying on my floor in the tower while we're here for the weekend. Such a fun night, ruined, destroyed, and Astrid was gone, she had retreated to her head, and I knew better than to try and force her to talk, she'd speak when she was ready.

I was in the shower, giving Astrid space, and a place for me to process what was happening in my own head. Hearing her wail, hearing the agony made me spin, I wanted to kill her parents, I wanted to burn down that building, and I wanted to make everyone who had ever hurt Astrid suffer. She was an angel, and even though she had done terrible things, it was never of her own free will, she had no choice, but they were slowly winking out the flames of who she was. Astrid was prideful, not arrogant, but her pride is what shaped her. Assassin and friend, were the two things that shaped her, that forged her as a person, and both were wavering, she didn't want to kill, and she lost her friends.

I jumped when slender arms wrapped around my waist from behind, Astrid's head resting between my shoulder blades and I didn't move, just reached down to rub her arm gently. "What are you doing?"

"You told me to hold onto you," Astrid whispered, and I could hear the tremble in her voice, the heartache that she was dealing with, "I'm scared, so I'm holding on. I don't know what else to do."

I spun carefully, leaning back against the tile and pulling Astrid into me. She moved like air, stepping between my legs and resting her head on my chest. Her light brown hair was weighted by the water, but I ran my fingers through it anyway, kissing the crown of her head when she let out a small sniffle. "Who am I?" She whispered, and I knew she was truly asking, Astrid had no idea who she was, "What am I?"

"You are Astrid King," I spoke softly, but firmly and she melted into me further, letting me hold her weight while the water pounded into her back. Her bruised back, yet, she gave no indication that she was hurting on the outside, all her pain was internal. A war of her heart. "You're an agent, a friend," She braced for the word assassin, but I never said it, she was so much more, "You're light on a dark day, you're love and laughter, and the joy of the trainee squad, you are a survivor, you are a warrior, you are a legend in the making," I meant it too, she was everything I wanted to be at her age, "And you Astrid King, are mine."

She placed her chin on my sternum, those beautiful gray eyes looking at me with a sparkle of hope, that I wasn't lying, that I was claiming her. I cupped her face, stroking her swollen cheeks with my wet thumbs, "You're the good in the agency, you're the survivor, you carry a legacy of your friends, and you will be everything they wanted you to be," the tears welled on her waterline again, "Their legacy lives on in you Astrid, live with the reminder that they wanted you to, they did everything they could to keep you alive, so live Astrid. Mourn, be angry, be lethal but live, and I will be there beside you while you do it."