Golden (book 3)

So long and goodnight

*Zara's P.O.V*

How do you respond to people that send their condolences?

'Oh yeah thanks, I'll make sure to tell him that you're sorry.'

What do I do?

Right now we're at my grandfathers funeral, me, Max and my mom, my aunt Lucy, my uncle Ben and a bunch of my cousins are sitting in the front row.Behind me sits Patrick, Patricia, Joe, Kevin, David, Ryan, Penny and Patrick's grandmother. Maybe even more cousins.

Everyone who knew our family far and wide came to shake our hands even my grandfathers friends, I am very grateful for them being here but my response?.... I just kept silent and smiled or nodded my head every now and then.

I don't know why but I can't cry.

Patrick carried in the coffin with a few other guys, they needed his help. I don't know why because he's short but he seemed to fit the coffin. Patricia helped me up the steps of the church, today I am bang on 6 months pregnant, heavily pregnant may I say. We got a few stares and whispers like "isn't she only nineteen?" And "She's had daddy issues no wonder she's pregnant at such a young age."

That comment threw me but Patricia told me to ignore them, I didn't even know them.

When we got into the church I didn't cry like my mom did, she's a wreck and I feel bad right now but she seems to have all the support from her sister.

She didn't speak to me this morning when I got in the funeral car and my heart slightly started hurting.

"Sorry for your loss.." the voice sounded familiar, I looked up to see Daisy looking down at me with a sympathetic look, she's wearing heavy concealer on one eye than the other, the eye she has the heavy make up on looks very tired looking. I tried not to let my head lead to what i thought it was but I just couldn't help it.

I smiled and nodded and shook her hand. she walked off down the aisle to another seat near the back.

Just then I felt the seat behind me tense and I knew why, Brendon Fucking Urie held his hand out in front of me wearing a smirk, "Sorry for your loss Zara, you know where I am if you need me." he shook my hand and walked off throwing me a wink.

I looked back at Patrick to see his face red and jaw clenched, Patricia was holding his hand saying "ignore him he's only looking for a reaction".

"Your moms right Trick." I said. he nods his head and looks down still shaking In temper.

The last people line of people shook our hands and went to sit down, the mass started but I blocked out the priest.

The only man in my life willing enough to bring me up is dead, he was practically my father. I remember in kindergarten I used to call him "Dad" because my real father never had time for me while everyone else's father did. he used to just laugh it off and my mom use to scold me for it while my actual dad never knew. I'd say he'd be a bit hurt by it now but back then I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have cared.

My dad rang me this morning telling me he heard the news and that he was sorry and try to make it over before the baby was born, that brightened my morning a little bit but still the man who raised me is sitting in the coffin infront of me.

"....We will have Arthur's Granddaughter Zara up to say a few words...Zara if you could please.." the priest says knocking me out of my daydream, I looked up and felt queasy. There goes a kick in the stomach, literally.

I sat at the edge of the seat and lifted my self up off the church bench, I was wearing a black maternity dress that came up my knee with semi-long sleeves, a black Mac jacket and black high heels. High heels were a bad idea but Patricia said I need to look respectable.