Check In Book

wtf.

I don't have much to say other than just bf brought rubber duckies to school!

And I wore his sweater to day...

And he cried next to me and said he was fine..

Then I stopped talking the rest if the day unless it was to him...

Then on the way to school, tears started falling down my face every few minutes because it was raining and it was wetting the sweater and he was sad.

I got down the hill to my the complex and it stopped.

Once I closed the door to the apartment, it started again and I tried to justify why.

Then I cried harder and talked.

Then I repeated that for maybe 15 minutes, walking around the apartment and crying my ass off, thinking about I feel selfish that his problems in convince both of us. The us part is the only I cried more at, it's his problem not mine. I should help him, not insert myself and feel sorry.

Then I just started saying how I hated how I cried, especially since when my nose gets blocked up, I need to breathe so breathing through my mouth is hard as it is. Now I'm trying now to make these sounds, trying not to be a fucking baby.

Now I'm trying to watch idiots play dnd to make me laugh but even as that plays and I write this, the years are trying to start again.

I just want to think of his smile and stacking his rubber ducks when he draws..