Chapter 1 | Heading home

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With shaking hands, he held the papers while tears filled his eyes. He looked down and saw the little symbols that indicated what your second gender would be. One would be crossed and that would mean that you were either an alpha, beta or... an omega. He scanned the papers and his eyes landed on the little cross that was scribbled on the paper. He read the word that was written next to it over and over again.
Why him! He didn't even look like one. His shoulders shook and he let the test result process in his mind. He felt so disappointed.

***

Julian gasped; his eyes blinked open. Yet again the same dream. He could feel that even his eyes were wet from unshed tears. He sat up on the bed and looked over at his alarm clock, 6.30 am. Sighing he got up slowly and put his hands over his face and wiped away the unshed tears. He wouldn't be able to sleep after this again so he decided to get up and just have an early breakfast and make a morning walk. He needed it after yet again a restless night. He pulled his lanky tall figure off the bed and headed to the bathroom to take a shower and brush his teeth. After he had showered he opened the cabinet next to the mirror and pulled out the little bottle that was named suppressants and popped it open before taking one out. He sighed and swallowed it down with some water looking at himself in the mirror. He certainly looked the alpha part. He was tall maybe a bit thin and slender but a strong jaw and perfect juicy lips on tanned skin. His hair usually curling on his forehead and dark brown now wet from the shower, and dark chocolate eyes stared back at him.
Just because he was an omega didn't mean he wanted to be one. He had lived the last six years as an alpha and he was going to keep it that way. Six years ago, when he got the results back from the doctors, he couldn't process that it said Omega. His mom was an omega and he loved her dearly but he also saw how omegas still got treated in this society and how it was hard for them to find a good job. They even had to watch out for alphas when they were in heat or they could be attacked. He had always thought he would be an alpha or a beta at least. His was tall and didn't look like the omegas around him. So, it was a shock when he got to know he was one. From that moment he had decided he wouldn't give in to his second gender. He would just act like an alpha!
Simple as that. Ever since then, he took suppressants and scent neutralizers so no one would know. It did have side effects though... headaches, itchy skin and terrible mood swings. But! He did a good job powering through them and he was happy with the way he was living now. Alphas surely had an easier life. He got into a good college and he was in his last year of engineering. After this he wanted to look for a good job to be able to live and provide for himself and live a happy life. Maybe even find a beautiful omega and start a family. He could hide being an omega for his whole life if he kept on being careful. Right now, he was living of his scholarship and part time jobs so he would still be able to afford his suppressants. They were expensive with how many he needed every time. Most omegas only took them for their heats if it would be really inconvenient for them but he had been taking them for every heat he had so he wouldn't need to experience them. He heard they were very painful and uncomfortable so he happily took them every month. The scent neutralizers he took were also expensive because he put it on every day. He knew only Alphas could smell omegas scents but he didn't want to risk people finding out he was an omega, so he also needed money for that. It wasn't like he was poor, he just had enough to come by. He didn't complain about his life and he was happy with the way he lived right now. Those few side effects couldn't keep him down.

When he finished his breakfast, he was supposed to go for a walk but he was running late already for his morning lecture with all the thinking he had been doing. He grabbed his laptop and put it in his backpack. He almost forgot the strip of new scent neutralizers and put them in the side pocket before heading out the door and jumping on his bike. His college was only 15 minutes away from his apartment so he didn't see why he needed a car, so he had invested in a good bike.
When he arrived a very cheerful Leo greeted him with both arms up, waving at him.
"Julian! Finally, you're here!"
He was way too happy this early in the morning. Julian smiled and locked his bike before he walked over to Leo and mumbled out a good morning and an apology for being a little late. Leo had been his friend for the time he has been here in college. He was funny, witty, and sometimes a bit clumsy on his feet. He was much shorter than Julian but made up for it with his attitude. He had the brightest smile and twinkling blue eyes that could always cheer up Julian when he was in a bad mood.
"Aaahhh... last day before the semester ends. I'm so in need of this vacation." he rambled on next to Julian as they walked to class. He had met Leo on the first day of college and they had been friends ever since. How he kept up with his chattering and his cheerful personality he didn't know. Leo himself was a beta and he didn't know Julian was an omega.

The only people who obviously knew were his parents, but he didn't tell them he hid it when he went to college.
That made him think. Today was indeed the last day before their break and he would go home for the holidays. His mother had asked him to come home after telling him how much she had missed him.
"Julian....are you even listening?
"Uh..huh? What did you say" Julian said startled by Leo's sudden question. He had once again been in his own bubble.
"I asked if you had any plans these holidays," Leo asked again. He knew how Julian could be.
"Yes, my parents asked me to go home, so I'm going back home." He said and smiled. He needed to focus he didn't want to make Leo feel uncomfortable if he ignored his talking.
"Aahh lucky you, I'm jealous I have so much homework to catch up with I have to stay here..." He said with a sad face. Julian laughed, Leo was always so chaotic and always behind with his schoolwork. How he still managed to pass every class was a miracle. they walked over to their first class of the day. He would be done at 2 pm. And head back to pack before leaving to his parents' home. He could feel a headache already starting and just with that he sighted. This would be a long day. Leo kept on chatting besides him, and he listened and nodded to every other sentence as they walked into the class. They found a spot and sat down pulling out their laptops the prepare for the lesson.
"You know... We really picked the wrong major." Leo sighed, staring into the distance.
Julian looked at him with questioning eyes. What was he thinking? This man never seemed to not think. While Julian loved letting every thought go and just be and not worry or think about anything.
"What? Why?" He asked wanting to know what Leo was thinking about now.
"You know. We are never going to find a cute beta or omega here!" Leo huffed. "We have to go out more. When you come back from your parents, we go lady hunting! We are twenty-two we are not getting younger here!" He yelled out and pumped a fist in the air which got him some weird looks from the other classmates. Julian send them an apologizing look and slapped Leo's shoulder.
"You can also just whisper it! Not everyone has to know!" Julian hissed. But he did give it some thought. He wanted to find a cute omega too.
"You're an alpha. Haven't smelled the one yet?" Leo asked him suddenly. Julian froze a little. He had said that he was an alpha to Leo and now he had to make up some kind of story and bullshit about alphas.
"Naah... Not really into that kind of mate thing. I want to fall in love with the one I like not someone that had been chosen for me." He said pulling up his shoulders nonchalantly.
"Good! Then it's settled! After the holidays we are going to find ourselves a lover!" Leo said way too excited. Julian just nodded and shushed him when the professor walked in. He didn't really want to, and this made him think some more. Some omegas and alphas were destined to be together. It was rare but it happened and that frightened Julian. What if he had a mate? He didn't want to think about it, it made his throat tighten. He would try to avoid alphas now, what if one would come up to him and say he was their mate! He didn't want anyone to find out he was an omega. His eyes darted around the room now even more aware of all the alphas in their major.
He shook off the thought. He shouldn't worry about such a thing now! He was a strong and tall man! He would be able to defend himself.

The day seemed like it just wouldn't end they had been huffing through their classes like some teenagers who hated the world. But finally, Julian slammed the door open from campus and strode off the front steps. Leo running after him trying to keep up with Julian's long legs.
"Wait! No goodbye?" Leo wheezed out behind him.
"It's not like I'm leaving for 3 years." Julian laughed at an out-of-breath Leo and stopped in front of his bike.
"Let's grab a coffee before you go! You need to give me your notes from last week!" He said with wide eyes and a bit panicky.
So that's why he wanted to keep him here some more, Julian thought. He laughed and grabbed his bag pack and rummaged around to find the papers from last week. He had already finished his assignments and homework so he wouldn't have to worry about it when he went home. He found the papers and gave them to Leo who happily grabbed them from his hands.
"You're an angel." Leo said and slapped his shoulder. "Not like any alpha I've ever met! Not secretly some omega traits in you? Hahaha!"
Julian swallowed hard at that. He felt his heart rate spike and his eyes darkened.
"Just kidding! Just kidding!" Leo said defensively when he saw the look in Julian's eyes.
"Don't say such stupid things..." Julian murmured and swallowed hard. He forced a joking smile on his face, and he kicked Leo in the butt before he opened the lock from his bike.
"See you in 2 weeks!" He said while driving off and waved back at Leo.
"Byyee and thanks!!! Miss you already!" Leo waved enthusiastically and jumped up and down. Some people gave him strange looks but Leo didn't give a care in the world. This was just the way he was. Julian looked back and grinned before he sped off to his apartment to pack.

When he got home, he got a call from his mother to confirm that he would come that day and he reassured her he would not be late for the bus that he had to take to get there. He grabbed his bag and pushed in some clothes and necessities before he grabbed his jacket and looked at his watch. 30 minutes to spare. He checked everything and almost forgot his suppressants and walked back into the bathroom. It would be hell if he forgot those! He didn't want to think about what would happen if he would ever forget to take them. He had never experienced it though and he wanted to keep it that way. He took some more painkillers for his headache before he walked back to his living room.
Looking back, he checked if everything was in place and turned off in his apartment before he locked his door behind him and pushed the keys into his pockets.
Let's go home! 

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