I press play.
"Hello, boys and girls. Jade West here. Live and in stereo."
I don't believe it.
"No return engagements. No encore. And this time, absolutely no requests."
No, I can't believe it. Jade West killed herself.
"I hope you're ready, because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to these tapes, you're one of the reasons why."
What? No! I loved her!
"I'm not saying which tape brings you to the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up...I promise. Now, why would a dead girl lie? Answer: Because she can't stand up."
Is this some kind of twisted suicide note?
"Go ahead. Laugh. Oh well. I thought it was funny."
Before Jade died, she recorded a bunch of tapes. Why?
"The rules are pretty simple. There are only two. Rule number one: You listen. Rule number two: You pass it on. Hopefully, neither one will be easy for you."
I click pause. The box which places her tapes are disctracting me. I pick up one of my flannel shirts and toss it on top of the box. I place a finger on the play button. My fingers, my hands, my arms, my neck, everything feels hollow. Not enough strength to press a single button on a stereo. I turn the volume down and press play.
"...one: You listen. Number two: You pass it on. Hopefully, neither one will be easy for you. When you're done listening to all thirteen sides--because there are thirteen sides to every story--rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, and pass them on to whoever follows your little tale."
"And you, lucky number thirteen, you can take the tapes straight to hell. Depending on your religion, maybe I'll see you there."
"In case you're tempted to break the rules, understand that I did make a copy of these tapes. Those tapes will be released in a very public manner if this package doesn't make it through all of you."
"This was not a spur-of-the-moment decision. Do not take me for granted... again."
No. There's no way she could think that.
"You are being watched."
I press pause. I felt like throwing up so I put it all out on the nearest bucket.
Jade West was my ex-girlfriend. I really truly loved her, and still do. We met in our school, Hollywood Arts. We did break up two weeks before she died. I didn't open the door. I should have. I still love her then but I was just tired of all the fighting, screaming...even our friends were. But never did I take her for granted. These tapes shouldn't be here. Not with me. These tapes should be a mistake. Or a terrible joke.
I press play.
"I almost forgot. If you're on my list, you should've received a map."
A few weeks ago, just before Jade took the pills, someone slipped an envelope through the vent of my transparent locker. The outside of the envelope said: SAVE THIS--YOU'LL NEED IT in a red marker. Inside was a folded up map of the city. About a dozen red stars marked different areas around town.
I kept Jade's map in my backpack. I meant to show it around school to see if anyone else got one. To see if anyone knew what it meant. But over time, it slid beneath my textbooks and notebooks and I forgot all about it. Till now.
"Throughout the tapes, I'll be mentioning several spots around our beloved city for you to visit. I can't force you to go there. You could just throw the maps and I'll never know."
As Jade speaks through the dusty speakers, I feel the weight of my backpack pressing against my leg. Inside, crushed somewhere at the bottom, is her map.
"Or maybe I will. I'm not really sure how this whole dead thing works. Who knows, maybe I'm standing behind you right now."
