Anastasia

None of your business: Salt N Pepa
"Opinions are like assholes and everybody's got one."

May 14 2024

As I hear my alarm go off at 5:00 AM I have to fight the urge to turn it off and get 7 more hours of sleep. But that thought quickly stops when I remember.

This is it. The day I have trained for. The day I've waited months for. I start a new job today after being wounded in combat. I am starting a new job as an off branch FBI officer.

Sure it's not as good as my last job, but hey, it's something, right? I really enjoyed my last job. Sometimes it was hard or sad but you eventually got used to it. I sure am going to miss it.

I had friends. But they were more than friends, we were like a family. We all shared things that no one else could relate to. That's what kept us so close.

I slowly get my ass out of bed and begin to fix the sheets. Then I walk to my small bathroom in my studio apartment.

While I'm in the bathroom I do my business, brush my teeth to get the gut wrenching stench away and, I brush my long, dark brown wavy hair into a tight bun.

Then I put on my makeup. I only do a light neutral look so I don't look desperate or like a try hard. I also don't really like wearing makeup. My mother always said it was like wearing a mask.

And if you wear that mask for too long, it becomes your face. And if you act like something different with that mask on, that's what you will become.

Sometimes it can be good, sometimes it can be bad. And I don't want to become something bad.

Honestly I'm surprised that she said those words. Though she did say that before things went to shit. Before she turned into an alcoholic. Back when she was still a good person. A good mom.

Shaking my head to forget those painful thoughts and get back to doing my mascara.

Once I was done my makeup I got my clothes on. I decided to wear some dark green cargo pants, because they had lots of places to hold things and lots of places to hide weapons, with a black top and a black leather jacket.

I like this job because we don't have to wear uniforms. But I think it may be hard at times since I have to decide what to wear all the time. Kind of like in school. While in the military, I just wear the same thing everyday. -Of course I would wash it though. We had 2 sets of everything to alternate what days we wear them.

Got blood on them? Wash them and were them tomorrow. Got dirt on them? Who cares brush it off.-Same with everyone else. We all looked the same even though we weren't.

We were a family. And that's something I will always be a part of. Because that is who I am. A soldier. Nothing more, nothing less.

It's like the saying my Sargent always said. Once a soldier, always a soldier. In the army, you see things. Things that can haunt you for the rest of your life. Things you can never escape from. But you get used to it. You get over it.

Looking in the mirror I admire myself. Because let's be totally honest, who doesn't?