Late at night.
I was sleeping on the couch at the kitchen while Sana was in my bed at the living room.
I hate this, we're both in silent treatment.
I was staring blankly at the ceiling.
I can't sleep like this. Maybe, I won't sleep tonight with this situation. I was bewildered and I want to decipher this.
Why am I being like this?
Sana just came and messed it up. She's messing my quiet life. My heart beats erratically when she's around me.
I don't want to think that I'm starting to like her. She's good with words, she can manipulate people with it.
She's blunt and careless.
You know that she's saying the truth and she just care. My mind said.
Excuses. Am I just making excuses?
Yes! Because if you really want it, you'd find ways. I answered my own question.
I mirthlessly laughed at myself. I'm hopeless. I'm afraid to change, I'm afraid to leave this place and try new things but most of all, I'm afraid that no one will help us.
Yes I think we're not normal because other people thinks we have disease or we're criminals but yeah, we are. We steal money and foods but we don't hurt people. They made us do it because they don't help us and just ignore us.
We fight, only to other gangs but to clear things, we're not a gang. We're just people helping each other to live.
Excuses. Don't blame other people because of your misery! My subconscious chided.
"Hiks... hiks..." I turned to face the couch, I was crying silently.
When night comes, my emotions get stronger. I don't let anyone see me like this, not even to Dahyun.
I always show that I'm fine but deep inside me, I'm broken. I want to live my life too, to change and be a better person.
But I have these responsibilities as a leader, I'm not complaining but I feel like it's controlling my life.
I can't just leave them.
Then I felt the couch weighted more as another body sunk on it and warm arm wrapped around me.
I startled but Sana spoke "Tzuyu, I'm sorry."
I stiffened and my heart beats faster than ever!
Sana's hugging me from behind! Her intoxicating scent became a drug to me.
"I know you're just helping them. I'm sorry for being close minded but still, you know you have choices. I mean if you really want to help, don't make them used to depend on you," she mumbled but I can hear it clearly because her face nuzzled at the back of my neck.
I mustered all my confidence and turned around to face her.
Her eyes were different now, there were so much emotions but mostly, I could see concern.
Sana wiped my tears on my face "I don't like it seeing you cry Tzuyu."
I didn't know but I started to lean closer to her, I was looking at her lips. It looked so soft then I gradually looked at her face.
Sana didn't move away as I felt her breathing on my face.
We're about to kiss but I stopped, just inch apart.
"Thank you for the concern, Squirrel."
Tiffany genuinely smiled "Squirrel?"
I was about to pull away but she won't let me as she hugged me tightly.
