After I left that place, my home. I just kept strolling around the city of Seoul. I'm quite far from them and it kills me.
Back to zero again, I have no home, no friends and I just sleep in the sidewalk.
I'm getting dirty too.
I can't count the days anymore.
Sometimes, it's fast and sometimes, it's very slow.
I don't eat much, I'm saving foods for my whole life. Great.
I tried to ask for job but no one's giving me chance but still, I'm hoping for someone that will help me.
Anyway, Sana's everywhere. Her pictures were posted everywhere. Now I realized that she's really famous actress.
Why would she go back in that dirty place right? She don't belong there with us and there's a huge gap between us.
What happened to us before is just nothing for her. I don't deserve her, I'm just a beggar and she's a queen. That's for sure.
Self pitying? Maybe yes? But no, I'm just telling the truth. I want to keep it in mind and slap it on my face so the reality would hit me hard and wake me up from my false hope. She would never like me because if she does, she will come back for us but she never did.
I just kept walking around with no direction then I saw an Appliance Center. At storefront glass, there were flat screen television that shows Sana's commercial. I stood in front of it and just stared at her.
Her eyes were still sad, I could see it. As I said, for me, she's crystal clear.
Gosh, I miss her so much. I want to see her badly.
Then someone spoke "She's beautiful, right? Are you a fan?"
I looked at my side and saw an old woman sitting on the ground. She's a beggar. She's asking for help where an empty can was in front of her.
I didn't even notice that she's there. I was out of my senses, too daft.
I just nodded then I took all my money from my pocket. First, I was reluctant to give it all but I realized that I still have water and foods.
She needs money than I am. I can manage it. She's old to get a job.
So I put all my money in her can.
The old lady looked at me in disbelief "What's that?"
"Uh... money? It's all I have but it's yours now granny,"I said politely.
"But you're just a beggar too?" She looked at me from down to up.
"Yes but don't worry granny, I worked for that money. It's clean I swear," Oh yeah, I'm so proud of that. It made me smile a bit.
"Oh thank you. You're different child. You gave all of yours to me while others just gave their coins that didn't value to them. You're so kind. What's your name?" The old lady smiled and she slowly stood up.
I supported her to stand, my reflexes are fast "My name is Chou Tzuyu granny, do you want some food or drink?"
She shook her head "Save it for you child, you already gave so much Tzuyu. Thank you very much."
"You're very welcome gran," I smiled to her. It feels so good to help other people. I feel so blessed.
The old lady hugged me "Bless you, we will surely see each other again."
"Oh... sure gran, no problem. I'm just here you know, just walking around. I'm looking for a job actually but unfortunately, there's none but I will not give up. I know there's some good people out there to help, I just need to find them," I sighed.
The old lady smiled and nodded "You're right. I hope you'll find one child."
I nodded then bowed to her showing my respect.
"I gotta go gran, see you around," I cheerfully said as I walked away from her.
Walking. Again. Just walking nowhere.
But what happened lit my mood up somehow. It really gives joy to help others.
Hours have passed.
Days have passed.
I don't have foods anymore and I'm starving to death.
Geez. I haven't found that good person who'll gonna help me here and give me a job.
I looked so dirty too. I smelled myself stinky.
I'm still walking somewhere in Seoul, I don't know. I'm getting tired of everything.
My body feels so weak as my stomach continued to grumble. I could also feel my legs were slowly becoming jelly. It's shaking uncontrollably.
I stopped at the side of a tall building as I supported myself leaning on the wall. My head started to hurt.
"Hey... are you okay?" Someone asked.
My vision became blurred as my head was spinning.
"Hey... what's happening?" She's a girl. I heard her sweet voice.
I was already on the ground and I don't know what's happening around me.
I looked at the girl, she looked worried as she called for help.
I smiled, she's beautiful.
Then I don't know what happened next.
All just black.
TBC
