The Whisperings Of Insidious

The Struggle

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⊰᯽⊱For hours, Orem had tried to keep his thoughts off the man he left behind. The look of betrayal and hurt burning bright in Kale's eyes as Orem gave him one last kiss. Which wasn't returned. Orem was no fool. He knew what his boyfriend would be thinking. Kale would be sitting there the whole time overthinking everything. Telling himself that he was going to die alone on that small ledge. He wasn't going to believe Orem no matter how many times he was reassured. He had no trust in Orem.

     Orem wished he could have stayed longer and held the scared man as he told him again and again that he'd be back. He wished he could have made amends for hurting him before leaving him behind. They'd been dating exclusively for the last two years, and Orem had always been a bit harsh and impatient with Kale. He knew that. But he loved Kale, and he was willing to do anything for him. Even abandon him a thousand feet in the air as he bled out. It was for his own good. One day, Orem swore to himself, he'll make Kale understand that he had no choice.

     It hurt Orem to know how Kale thinks. How could he not trust the man who sacrificed everything for him? How could he honestly believe Orem wouldn't come back for him? What made him think it was easy for Orem to talk away? Didn't he know him at all?  Did he seriously believe Orem was that selfish?

"ℌ𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔰𝔰𝔰 𝔰𝔢𝔠𝔯𝔢𝔱𝔰. 𝔊𝔬𝔬𝔬 𝔟𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔥𝔦𝔪 𝔬𝔣𝔣𝔣. ℌ𝔢 𝔩𝔦𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔰.”

     As the seductive voice whispered in his ears, Orem growled. Flashes of memory light up behind his vision. Kale stood in the shower as he repeated he wasn't lying and Orem was wrong. The way his high-pitched voice quivered as he denied Orem's every word. How Kale finally admitted he kept Tommy's call a secret. How Kale tried to blame Orem for his secrets and lies.

"𝔓𝔲𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔥𝔦𝔪𝔪𝔪. 𝔊𝔬 𝔟𝔞𝔠𝔨. 𝔖𝔥𝔬𝔴 𝔥𝔦𝔪 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔫𝔫.”

     The voice whispered yet again. A little more urgent this time. The memories mixed with her words were like gasoline being dumped on a campfire. The rage boiled up, making Orem's nerves tingle and smolder. How dare Kale think so little of him when he's the one sneaking around doing who knew what with his ex. What gave Kale the right to assume Orem was some sort of monster with no feelings. The stupid little shit was acting as if Orem had intentionally left him to rot. As if he ever bailed on his responsibilities. Orem's fury grew rapidly.

     Orem had no patience for the ledge that taunted him, just out of reach. His anger had just about reached its peak. He growled and cursed as he found the tiniest crevices, ones that his fingers shouldn't be able to grip properly but did. It was as if he were forcing the mountain to accept his accent regardless of whether it was physically possible or not. Grudgingly, the mountain obeyed.

"ℌ𝔢'𝔰𝔰𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔗𝔬𝔪𝔪𝔶𝔶𝔶. 𝔚𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔥𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔡 𝔥𝔦𝔪 𝔫𝔬𝔴𝔴𝔴. ℌ𝔢'𝔰 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢, 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔰𝔰.”

     The anger had finally taken over. His temples were throbbing as he trembled with raw fury, and his breath came in shallow grunts. He needed someone to hit. Someone to push through a wall and kick until their ribs shattered.

"𝔊𝔬𝔬𝔬 𝔟𝔞𝔠𝔨. 𝔎𝔞𝔩𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔭𝔲𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔥𝔥. 𝔎𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔥𝔦𝔪𝔪𝔪.”
    
     Had Orem not been able to see the trees poking over the rim of the rock, he would have turned around. He was maybe an hour and a half away from the top. His fists ached with the need to break something. He needed to spill blood. Kale's would do nicely. He craved the feeling of his boyfriend's life force pumping onto his fingers. To hear the pathetic cries of the cowardly man as he begged Orem to stop. His ears craved the sound of snapping bones. He wanted to feel Kale's body being crushed in his hands.