Phrontistery Of Monster Kind - Six Feet Deep

Chapter 19

Every year I got older, birthdays got less meaningful. It seemed to be a common occurrence amongst adults, as though once you turn eighteen you lose all joy, and the reality of what birthdays mean sinks in. Nowadays, people who have friends go out and party late into their twenties, going to clubs and getting drunk. None of which you can do as a teacher at a boarding school without being highly unprofessional, but this was Royse Ridge so that didn't matter.

The day started out the same as always. Woke up being cooked alive by the sun as I forgot to close my curtain. Nearly being smothered by one of my pets as I tried to go back to sleep before one of them tries to start a war against another. Rizpah scolded me as I laboured my way to the bath for my getaway.

Immortal sentient jewellery had no reason to celebrate birthdays, the one thing we had in common. I didn't dress especially different, the only change to my usual attire was my new necklace.

I ate breakfast in the cafeteria. A few teachers said good morning as I passed. I mumbled it back as I slid myself with my tray of cereal into the back table. Halfway through, my second least favourite bird person hopped up on the table for a good helping of pepper.

"How's my favourite human?"

"I'm the only human you know," I mumbled.

"Yes, regardless." He placed a bottle bag on the table. I peered into it and saw a bottle of 'champagne' from the local bottle shop. It wasn't from Champagne, France, but it would suffice. It wasn't technically champagne at all but sparkling wine, but it's the best we can do given our circumstances in a monster-dominated area. Only humans would get offended by incorrect labelling.

"Happy birthday May. How's it being twenty-six?"

May? That's new. Fitting for the month, Eleventh of May.

"Twenty-five. I just turned twenty-five."

"You said you were twenty-five last week."

"Yeah. I hadn't turned it yet. Humans lie about their ages."

"Why? What could you get out of it?"

"Alcohol."

"You can't drink alcohol until you're Twenty-five?"

"Eighteen, sometimes Twenty-one. European cultures earlier. Some places don't allow it at all."

"Imagine not being able to drink. Horrible."

I didn't bother to explain the religious reasons behind it. The man was already pushing my tolerance for contact in the early hours of my day off. It was a weekend, but I had cancelled my Saturday classes and catchups in favour for me time, which didn't include being questioned by anyone shorter than five foot five, monster or otherwise.

"Agreed. Thanks for the gift. You didn't have to."

"You're my friend. Plus, you're better to hang out with than some of these monsters." He eyed the table next to us where the lesbians had taken claim of, all but snogging each other on the bench as Marchella rolled up her morning blunt. All the older staff had come and gone, except Celestinus and Starla, who were in a deep discussion. "Oh, I thought there was more there."

"I thought you would have liked them."

"I love them dearly, but there are only so many times I can hear about the high school lovers' night activities and their plans to run away to Ophis' family estate. Nice place, gothic style house in the middle of the desert."

"Odd placement."

"We are in a castle on a mountain in the middle of nowhere."

"You got a point."