My Sweetest Downfall

Fear

Adeera

"Adeera."

I raised my head from the hot liquid of the coffee pouring into the mug, turning around only to be met with a pair of concerned eyes.

"Are you okay?" The question was uttered in a perfectly calculated tone, as if testing the waters. Granted the manager of the sales department was never close to me in the first place. Just a small greeting here and then whenever we crossed paths.

It was getting hazy, my vision. The headache had been relentlessly catching up to me and my limbs felt heavier in each passing second.

But no, maybe it was an illusion. Nothing that a coffee couldn't fix.

"Yes." I forced my lips to smile, knowing it didn't appear as a smile in the slightest upon seeing the way her eyebrows furrowed deeper.

The sales department manager was a woman in her thirties with a kind smile and a composing aura whenever it was related to work matters. She had always been calculated and professional around us. And this was my first time seeing her looking so concerned, breaking away her usual composed manner. Over me out of all people.

A thought crossed my mind.

Was I that obvious?

The whirring of the coffee machine stopped and she walked across the pantry to reach for the mug. Her flowery-scented perfume invaded my nostrils, numbing my senses.

Oh wait, isn't that my coffee–

Before I even had the chance to do anything, she extended the mug towards my direction except for the fact that it was not a black coffee. A frown marred my features. I was pretty sure I made a black coffee.

"I added milk," she said, as if knowing what kind of questions arose in my head.

"But–"

"I'll talk to your department manager. Pack your stuff and go home once you've finished the coffee. Rest."

"But I–"

She left the office pantry without any other words. My left hand gripped the edge of the counter, trying to keep my weight from falling right onto the floor. It's just a headache, I told myself. Nothing worse. My eyes fluttered close as I brought the mug close to my lips. Maybe this could help to ease the pain. I frowned the moment the creaminess of the liquid burst into my tastebuds, filling in my throat.

For a split moment, a sense of relief washed over me, probably a short-lived dopamine due to my first time consuming something after a few days of not eating anything. My stomach, however, didn't take that well. It churned and twisted to the point I had to stop drinking the coffee one shot, slouching against the counter.

My legs gave up on me. I fell pathetically. The back of my head collided with the floor with a concrete thud. The pain was getting stronger and black dots started to appear to the point the pure white ceiling was slowly replaced by the pitch black.

I forced myself to be awake, my consciousness fighting to be aware of the surroundings but the pain– God, everything just hurts and I couldn't get myself to be fully awake.

I passed out before I knew it.

***

Hazy.

Nothing registered in my mind at first when I was greeted with the heavy smell of the medications and the annoyingly bright lights above me. I glanced around. Surrounded by curtains, I found myself lying on the hospital bed. The chair beside me was void of humans yet from the way a brown sling bag was placed haphazardly on it, I knew someone was here, waiting for me to wake up.