My Sweetest Downfall

A Little Bit Easier

Adeera

Dainty fingers worked their way into folding and shaping the tissue paper. The light sound of the tissue paper grazing against the surface of the table went unheard against the murmurs of the customers and the distant whirring of the coffee machine.

It took less than five minutes for the tissue paper to form into the small shape of a swan. The pen that was placed not far from the table was reached, its cap popped open before the black inked tip pressed against the base of the tissue paper, and neat handwriting adorned the paper fold.

What makes you feel at home?

Home.

Come to think of it, my home consists of cold takeout meals, an empty living room, and the distant sound of heels clicking at the entryway. Was that even considered as home? It only left a distaste feeling at the tip of my tongue, the crippling loneliness by the time I was engulfed in a comforter.

Was it even home in the first place?

My mind traversed back to the baby blue bicycle and the lollipop sticks. The silent yet comforting presence by my side, cold hands guiding mine, and blank gaze that turned into genuine happiness the moment it laid on me. It kind of hurts knowing my own home was never a place to begin with. And it hurts more to think that I could never find a home anywhere here, for as long as I live.

I closed the pen and placed the paper fold right beside the empty glass. I took my sling bag from the chair beside me, inserting the pen into the small compartment. Mia was nowhere to be seen today. She used to be here during times like this but maybe she'd had an emergency leave or something because the different face that greeted me at the cashier proved that she was absent from work.

As I headed back home, my mind went on a series of work stuff; of what I'd done and what's left to be done by the end of the week. Along the way, I noticed how the waterfront was packed with people and stalls, appearing so alive the more it neared midnight. I glanced at my watch, noting that today was the last day of December.

Time passed by pretty quickly...

There's this urge, wanting to join the crowd and wait for the countdown along with them. After all, it wasn't a daily occasion to have the chance to witness the burst of fireworks lighting up the pitch-black sky accompanied by the excited cheer of the crowd. Nonetheless, upon rethinking the exhaustion dragging me to the bones, I decided that maybe it was better for me to just go home and rest.

Well, that was my initial thought until the elevator doors slid open and my gaze fell onto the tall figure leaning against the wall, just right beside my apartment door. His head instantly raised the moment he heard the elevator.

"What are you doing here?" That question slipped past my lips the moment I stepped out.

I didn't know whether it was a perfect time to ask that since I noticed how he seemed a little bit disarray. The rim of his eyes was red, his lips were pale and his hair was slightly out of place. The collar of his brown overcoat was askew as if he had rushingly worn it before running all the way here.

Nonetheless, the moment he recognized it was me behind the elevator doors, his gaze seemed so alive as a bright grin plastered on his face. For a short moment, I was deemed speechless. How easily he could ooze so much life in his gaze when I have been trying for years and years just to find peace of my mind.

How unfair.

Another reason why I should hate him.

"Why are you so early? I thought you would be home late."