Formula Love: Devotion

Enough

"Mummy!"

"Heya El!" I dropped my bags at the front door as he leapt on me for a hug. I crouched down and picked my baby up, swinging him around as he giggled.

"Don't hurt mummy. That's the last thing she needs before she starts racing again." My mum jokes as she leans against the doorframe.

"How are we all?" I ask. But before mother could get a word in I hear footsteps bolting down the stairs.

Jamie was coming towards me in blue baggy jeans, a white sweatshirt along with a pair of navy Jordan's I bought him for Christmas. His brunette hair was parted into curtains and his big blue eyes shone brightly.

"Never felt better. Just about to head out actually!" He announces as he pulls me in for a hug after I'd put Ellis down. I crank my neck up to meet his gaze.

"Fuck me can you stop growing!"

"No can do sista, I'm six-foot-two at 20. It's only up from here." He ruffles my hair, earning a playful slap on the back on his head from me. He pretends it really hurts him as he hunches over and falls to the floor.

"Oscar winning performance that, J!" My dad walks down the hallway as I step over my brother's body and jump into my dad's arms.

"Just as I thought we'd gotten rid of you." My dad playfully rolls his eyes keeping a placid face.

"Shut up." I laugh as I let go of him and focus my attention back onto my three year old who was now wrestling with my 20 year old brother.

Twenty! I know what you're all thinking. Time has certainly gone quickly. He's no longer in secondary school, he's enrolled to university.

London College university- to be exact - he's just finished his second year.

We were all expecting him to opt for a career path like graphic design or something creative as he's talented in that region.

But his ambitions completely changed after losing Mattie.

Once he completed his A-levels he sat us all down and told us he'd been accepted into a paediatric and child's health course. We were all dumbfounded and quite frankly ... puzzled to say the least. But he explained he wanted to save children, or atleast attempt to. Similar to how the doctors and nurses tried to save his twin brother.

"Where you off to?" I ask and he quickly tenses up, letting go of my son. A huge smile crept along his face as he started to look flustered.

"Girlfriend!" Ellis shouts at me.

"Oooh do tell!" I raise my voice on a happy tone.

Jamie rolls his eyes despite the huge grin on his face.

"Okay well if you must know ... her names Tillie and she is training to be a physiotherapist." Jamie scratches the back of his neck before staring down at Ellis. "Not my girlfriend yet, little man!"

That then started Ellis off hysterically laughing his tiny head off. We all muttered a goodbye to Jamie and he soon took off with his car keys in hand and out the front door, closing it quietly.

"Wonder when we'll meet this Tillie." I say to my mum, wiggling my eyebrows.

She chuckles as she enters the living room, "Jamie's very secretive about her, I doubt we'll ever meet her Sayds."

"We'll convince him." I turn to Ellis, "won't we El." His big grin still plastered upon his face as he sits on the floor tracing the wooden floorboards with his fingers. But I couldn't help but realise how much he looks like Charles.

Those green eyes shone brightly at me, same as Charles. The messy brown locks, same as Charles. Not to mention the prominent dimples either side of his cheek.

Ellis Leclerc was the splitting image of his father. Who acts like he wants nothing to do with him.

"Sayd. You're on the news hunny." My mum calls from the room next door. I roll my eyes and enter, leaving Ellis to keep tracing the floor with his dainty finger. I perch next to my mum on the sofa and watch my face from the event last night flash up on the screen.

"What an awful photo." I started giggling at my mum but she hushed me and raised a finger tapping her ears to tell me to listen.

"A tense row erupted last night between the Mercedes driver and the Ferrari driver at the F1 event. Brando and Leclerc were spotted having what looked like harsh words with each other. This comes seconds after Sadie was pictured  embracing her former fling and love triangle member - Lando Norris - in a passionate hug. So this really sparks the question: what happened to the smitten couple after the crash three years ago?" The reporter exclaimed using the worst photo of me possible.

"What happened was he doesn't even remember dating me." I chuckle in reply. I tried to rekindle my relationship with him just before having Ellis but Charles wouldn't hear of it and wanted a paternity test which came out positive obviously but he's still in denial to this day.

Communication was only through his management or family. Up until last night I hadn't spoken to him in three years.

Quite sad if you ask me.

His brothers' and grandparents are always keeping me updated. Arthur Leclerc picked Ellis up from school everyday when I was learning to walk again, the family always saw him on Christmas and Birthdays along with Charles if he 'fancies it' and they text me everyday asking how he is, seeing him twice a week.

Ellis' uncles' and grandparents are being more of a parental figure than his actual father is being.

Hervé: Hey SB, just watched the news and Charles told me what was said, he's way out of line. He's going to have a talking to from all of us. Hope El is okay!

The Leclerc family always comes in clutch.

"Is that daddy?" Ellis asks as he strolls in to sit on my lap.

"Yes it is."

"Why don't I see him?"

"He's just ... busy Ells." I tell him without trying to break his heart.

"Uncle Arthur, Lorenzo and pop-pop and Nana aren't." Ellis explains starting to get upset.

"I know, baby. He'll see you soon." I kiss his tear stained cheek and combing his mousy brown hair back, comfortingly.

"This can't keep going on like this Sayd. Enough is enough, this is his little boy, his responsibility." My mother whispers from behind me. I turn and nod at her, still cradling my son.

"I know."