Chapter 9: Where Johnny is Dead

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"—a coma, sir

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"—a coma, sir. She seemed more responsive today, but she just slipped back under."

"Thank you, nurse. I would like to visit her alone."

"Silvia!"

So many people talking. Silvia groans. She coughs deep in the back of her throat. A bitter, iron-y taste fills her mouth. Her sticky eyelids peel back, and a blurry silhouette lurks over her. Thick hands prod at her half-numb body.

"I'm going to ... home ... hear me? Silvia ..."

Silvia's ringing ears rise in feverish pitch. A haze of grey washes her mind, swallowing her senses with it.

The world clutters back into focus, but Silvia views it like fragmented pieces of a broken jigsaw puzzle. Duncan's voice comes from somewhere she can't identify: "Thank you for your help, officers." Then a door closes. Feet hit the floor. A blanket swishes. She realizes it's on her shoulders. Arms swoop around her. A steaming mug fills her hands.

"It's tea." Benjamin sits on her right side, pressing his head to her shoulder.

"It should help you to relax." Susie is on the left.

Duncan appears, kneeling at the base of the couch and staring at Silvia's feet. "... I'm sorry."

Silvia's shaking fingers jostle the liquid in the mug. She lifts it to her lips and swallows the tea down her raw throat before she registers Duncan's words. Her jaw aches. She touches the soft, warm flesh under her chin. "It ..." she croaks out, "wasn't your fault."

"It was my fault," Duncan says. "If I hadn't made you so upset, you wouldn't have gone out." A hissing breath escapes his lips. His fingers bunch into fists. "You shouldn't have gone out after dark."

Silvia's razed senses mend and mesh, repairing the environment as a whole instead of simply parts. She tastes the fruity tea on her tongue, sweet honey sticking to the roof of her mouth. "I already went out," she says, "so there isn't use dwelling on shoulds and shouldn'ts, is there?"

Duncan lapses into silence. "No," he says after some time.

"Duncan." Benjamin urges Duncan's gaze. "You know that we care for you, don't you?"

Duncan glances back and forth at Silvia's parents. He nods.

"Go back to the priesthood." Benjamin sits forward and clasps a hand on Duncan's shoulder. "Repent. Stop carrying this out for yourself—for your family. It's something we all need to do from time to time, no matter how blessed a person may be." He looks up the stairs. "Emily is here, now. There's nothing we can do about it. But you can repent of the wrong you've done. Don't let yourself be like a dragon. We don't think less of you."

Duncan's lips fall open. He doesn't say anything. A clock ticks in the spaces between his wordlessness. "I'll think about it."

Benjamin rubs Silvia's shoulders. "Are you going to be okay, Sil?"

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