Just Seventeen

Spoilers (please read lol)

Hey loves!! So I've kinda been in a writing block but I've been writing this, This is kinda a spoiler but kinda not. I hope you like reading this and if not tell me why. Also I might not continue posting this story on here because I feel like it doesn't get the credit it deserves, so please please if you like this story comment and tell me. I don't care if its only one person, I continue writing if one person wants me to.  

Essie is high at a party after she sees Oliver and they start dating again she's high and goes outside and sees her old self, and then he asks her to marry him:

He loves me. I'm dancing. He loves me. I'm drinking. He loves me. I walk outside.

"He Loves me!!" I exclaim drunkenly.

"Are you sure about that? It didn't end so well last time." My mind is cloudy but I would recognize that voice anywhere, the low voice, the many laughs she had. The brutal end that got given to her. It's me, but younger. Specifically elementary and middle school. I spin around to see me on the second week of 8th grade, you know how I know it's the second week of 8th grade. Every year the second week of school was horrible. This one was the worst. I know it's 8th grade because of the blood-stained shirt I'm wearing and the many band-aids that cover my arms, the scars that I created that summer like words of poetry engraved in my skin never to go away. I thought I killed her long ago, she was never fun; or happy for that matter. I must have looked shocked because she started speaking again. "Surprised to see me? You're the reason I'm here, a reason a lot of us are here. You are your stupid obsession with this boy.'' In eighth grade, Oliver and I weren't friends. I wasn't friends with anyone because I hated myself. I thought everyone was horrible and I wanted to make the world come crashing down by taking my sister away from me. The month before that I found out my sister died because she overdosed on drugs. That week I found out my dad drank himself to death because he couldn't handle the bear of my sister dying. My dad left us.

"Why are you here, you shouldn't be here; I made my peace with Natalie dying a long time ago. I've gotten over that and so should you." she doesn't even look fazed, like she expected me to say that.

"I'm not here regarding Natalie, she's dead. I want to be with her but you're stopping me; I know we're the same person just at different times but you are keeping a few of us here even though we should have moved along to whatever comes next. But I'm not here to talk about that, I'm here to talk about you and Oliver. It needs to stop." I'm taken aback by what she said, I sit down on the old swing as she sits down next to me "You have loved this boy for too long and he has done too many things to you just for you to forgive him and run back to him because if you guys get married it would end in disaster."

"But he finally loves me, and I -I-I love him. We can finally be happy together. I'll finally get what I've wanted forever, I finally got him." I know that we are the same people but we feel like totally different people.

"But do you want him, he wants you but are you sure you want him; maybe that passed. Maybe you never really loved him."

"What are you saying? Of course, I love him! We can finally be together and not have things stopping us! I can finally have my happy ending to my life of suffering, I will finally be happy." She looks at me, or technically what she turned into like she's about to cry. I've noticed that sometimes we convey the same emotion, I think it's only when she's felt the emotion I'm feeling.

"You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. You can be happy with him after what he did to you, he hurt you. You're forgetting that.'' She looks desperate.