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I remained polite, I even wished him happy birthday. And then accidentally invited him to a rave I was going to with friends. I expected him not to be able to come, but he could. I have no idea what to do. So I did what I do best - panic about nothing.

I let the ideas play out in my head. Rule of thumb - if I make it up, it won't happen. Which meant I could allow myself these thoughts, because I knew it wouldn't happen.

I considered what it would feel like if his hand was in mine again, or what his lips tasted like, I considered what it would feel like to catch him staring. And then I went to bed with an ache in my stomach.

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