Regrets - Taegyu

Unspoken Words (5)

Taehyun's POV

Did I hear wrong?

Am i hallucinating?

Cause... What the hell is this?

This is the first time I've seen Beomgyu like this. I literally turned into stone. I wanna tell him everything, everything that had happened to me because of him, everything he did wrong. But, I also wanna tell him that this was something new to me and I was just shocked. At least, to make him stop crying. I don't know why, but seeing him cry just hurts for me. Even though, he had hurt me, worse, much worse than this.

Finally, I gathered up the courage to slightly touch his hand, "Eh, hyung, there's nothing wrong, I was just-"

Before I could finish my sentence, I saw him quickly wipe off his tears. His next words made me even more confused. "What am i saying?" I saw him frowned at himself and the only reaction I can give him is silence. There it is again, awkward silence.

"Ah, Hyung, The-there's a café near here, can we go there?" I said with a soft voice, breaking the silence.

"Sure," he said, still looking sad.

While walking to the café,  he kept trying to ask me questions, but I kept my answer short, not knowing what to say. I saw him frowning whenever I tried to answer, his face filled with uneasiness.

We reached to the door and he opened it for me. I'm definitely not used to this. We never even spend time together like this after being married for a whole 3 years.

We ended up spending almost the whole day in the café. Still mostly silence, but it was comfortable silence and i kinda enjoyed it. This side of Beomgyu is really nice. Except... It's fake... 'Come on, Kang Taehyun. STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT' I thought to myself.

"By the way, why did you order an Americano? I thought you never liked coffee since you always like sweet things" I heard him say, as I slowly sipped on my glass.

"Oh, I just changed my taste, I guess" I answered softly.

It was awkward silence after that, but really, I never liked coffee before I'm married to Beomgyu. No matter how many times I tried, and how many types and flavors I drank, I never liked it cause it's always too bitter for me and I don't know why, after marriage, I just started to like the bitterness of it. And I guess in this world, my taste never changed. Maybe cause Beomgyu never treated me like shit.

"Hey, do you want to watch the sunset together? The place is only 30 minutes from here.." I said, trying to break the silence. Also, this is one of my dreams, to see the sunset together, I never would have thought that I could fulfill that here.

"Of course, we've done that plenty of times since you liked the sunset that much" He said, which is not true. I like the sunset, but not that much, but perhaps maybe I like him that much. I smiled softly and thought, 'yeah, perhaps I could get used to this...'

+×+

We are sitting at the grass, admiring the sunset together. This feeling... is something I had wished for. I really wanted to stop the time now and enjoy this forever. The warm feeling in my hand coming from his hand is just the best.

"Hey, this is great, isn't it?" I heard him ask,

"Yeah" I said, before he put his hand on my neck. He started pulling me closer to him, is he pulling in for a kiss? I was about to let him do it until suddenly, a gust of wind blew, and just then, it felt so wrong. Like, we weren't supposed to do this. It was at that exact moment the fact that this is just a fake world, the fact that the real Beomgyu would never do something like this suddenly comes to my mind. 

I pulled away immediately, not feeling comfortable. He looked at me with sad eyes. I also pulled away from the hug. The sun had already set and it was starting to get dark. I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall down my cheeks. I felt his hand in mine trying to stop me when I got up. 

"Where are you going? What's wrong?"

I looked at him, then pulled my hand from his grip and started to walk away. I stopped when I heard him call me the second time.

"Hey... Are you okay?"

I turned back and said to him in a shaky voice, "Can we go back home?" I heard him sigh, then said, "yeah, sure"

It's a really hard time in the car. The air is more awkward and tense than ever,

"We... often do that and even did more than that, why...", I heard him say,

After that, he tried to ask me why I pulled away multiple times, but I just switched the topic every time. Other than that, it was just silence. I don't have any energy left to talk after that and since Beomgyu is the one driving, I just looked out the window and stared into the road.

I really wanna answer him though, why I pulled away, but I don't even know the answer to that question myself. It's always been my dream to be loved by him, at least to be treated kindly, but I just don't feel comfortable. Wait, why do I want to be loved by him? Do I love him? or do I just want to stop suffering and be treated kindly? Just as these thoughts pass my mind, I heard him say something,

"Hyunnie? It's a different question this time. But can I ask you something?"

"Huh? yeah s-sure"

"*sigh You know what, never mind"

'Now that was even more awkward.' I thought. Just as he said that, the car stopped. We are already at our house. I looked at him and got out of the car, still wondering what he wanted to say before.

"Do you want to break up?"

A/N : Okay... I did say I'll come back in two weeks, but it's been months. Sorry guys, the reason I haven't been updating cause I have no motivation to continue this low quality story 😭😭 so please don't be a silent reader and comment whatever :) Oh and I can't believe between these months, I almost reached 1k?? Thanks :D