The Blood Debt

Chapter 32

Ayla

We agree on a 28 day closing period. An escrow is arranged to hold the total cost of the townhouse until a final walkthrough inspection before the deed is officially transferred.

I share the news with my mom first because I'm expecting push back regarding my proposal of moving them into the townhouse. I know Holly's unlikely to pose any kind of opposition to the idea. Roman's not a stranger to Holly. In our final year together, when Roman was paying for Holly's Trinity tuition, they spent some time together.  But for my mom Roman's a stranger and she's going to be harder to convince. She's prouder than Roman thinks and just like me she's learnt to stand on her own two feet, living in Maine where she works as a librarian. Since returning to Brookville, I've kept my two lives distinctly separate, very aware that it's a fine balance we may never get right. The path to reconciliation goes through repentance, but repentance requires acceptance and I'm not entirely sure if my mom has come to terms with it all.  Bringing them together requires a level of bravery I'm not ready for just yet - not at least until I've found my own place in this new order.

The pause, when I tell her about the house and my offer, is so long that I think the line's dropped out. When I realize she's still there on the other end of the line I know she wants to say no, but saying no to me isn't that easy anymore. After I confront her the night I find out about my adoption, I don't speak to her for a year, and while things are almost back to how they used to be between us, I know she second guesses herself whenever she's making decisions concerning me. She seems perpetually caught up in a cycle of not wanting to be seen as too obliging, because that would be over-compensating, and not wanting to hurt my feelings.

She asks for time to think about it.

I'm reading Noah a bedtime story before putting him to bed when Roman walks in wearing a tuxedo.

"Daddy," Noah yells, as Roman leans over me to kiss Noah goodnight, while I do my best impression of a woman unbothered by her husband going out without her looking like a GQ model. Despite my best efforts, I'm almost certain there's a visible frown line between my brows as I ponder where he's going, looking like he is. Thankfully Noah puts me out of my misery and asks so that I don't have to.

"To a very boring ball with a lot of middle aged people, who have a fa..." he says, before my head snaps toward him, my eyes bulging in warning so that he stops mid-sentence and corrects himself.

"... a lot of money," he says.

Roman's one who's always had presence, but his towering build in that perfectly tailored tuxedo, is like looking at an optical illusion. What you see and what you think you see are two different things. Despite the perfection there's an air of something dark and dangerous that's intuit; it's something that's there somewhere near the surface, and it creates a kind of confusion that adds to Roman's enigma. I'm lost in this thought when Roman turns to Noah and tells him that he needs to speak to me for a moment and that I'll be right back. I only register that I need to get out of bed and follow him out of the room when Roman turns back to look at me expectantly and I realize I'm still in bed.

I've never felt more unattractive in my life as I stand in front of him in my gray sweats, my Killers 2004 Hot Fuss tour t-shirt that's now marred by a pasta sauce stain from tonight's dinner running down the middle of it, and my half up, half down claw clipped hair. It's like I woke up this morning and made it my mission to kill the libido of any man in a 30 mile radius.

"I'm going to the Governor's Mansion for a charity auction," he says, his eyes moving between my face and the stain on my t-shirt.

"Oh, okay," I say, trying to sound unbothered, but my voice sounds way more high pitched than I intend it to, because I am bothered and annoyed too. Mostly at myself for being bothered by it. I realize I must be frowning when he tells me he won't be long.