lazarus. feyd rautha

chapter one: departure

CHAPTERHOUSE, THE BENE
GESSERIT SCHOOL, 10,191

Anastacia didn't come to know her parentage until she was twenty years old, and told herself she felt no particular connection to it. When you are a daughter adopted by the bene gesserit you're loyalty lies with the sisterhood and the enlightened path of humanity. Bloodlines help cultivate higher potential in breeding humans, they do not help in direction after birth.

But it is important to feign connections, that is what she's learned. Outside of political relationships such as marriages, stewardships and alliances, there still remained more intimate connections to construct. The vast majority of people cannot survive in prolonged emotional solitude, and it's more effective to pretend to be like they are, dependent and yearning, when you need to blend in or fake allegiance to get something in return.

She supposed that's why the Reverend Mother promised her to the Harkonnens. They who lived on a depressing planet void of beauty, under the violent leadership of their Baron, might be more prone to emotional vulnerability if they are exploited correctly, and with enough time.

They're a people with only the false idea of love in worshipping their idol of a Baron. They are loyal to the Emperor only as long as their lord is. And with that love and obsession clouding their vision they come under the false impression that love is returned. Servants always meet their death with widened, dumbfounded eyes. Always thinking if they play their cards right they will be chosen, they'll be kept. But House Harkonnen does not share the sentiment that human life—which already finds itself in danger of future extinction from war—is beyond value.

That's where she would be going eventually. And some day down the line, that was to be her home. A wave of nausea unsettled her and she focused on her breathing to suppress it. It was pointless to fear. Fear would bring her nothing but distraction in the face of danger. What was done, was done and what will happen, will happen. She only has to survive it.

Her ancestry was both a great advantage and risk. Granddaughter of the late Earl Dominic Vernius. Had her kin not gone renegade, she would now hold the title Princess.

It didn't matter now.

She was reviewing passages from the OC Bible. Knowledge is pitiless. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she twinged. A little girl just beginning her training still existed there, though she tried to bury her. A girl who was always wondering when someone would come and take her away from the school, somewhere relaxed where she might not be forced into such a rigid, calculating, serious attitude all the time. Where she didn't have to always be at least partially on guard.

Instead they had escaped for themselves. She doesn't know the circumstances of her being left behind, whether it was by choice or by force, only that they had gone and she had not gone with them. Knowledge was pitiless indeed.

It was her last day on the planet she spent her entire life on, only travelling offworld a handful of times for educational purposes. She had never been to Giedi Prime before, but she's studied it relentlessly and gathered enough information from the other sisters who had served there. It was more dangerous than serving at the Imperial Court, and only her status as pupil of the Reverend Mother would keep the animalistic lieutenants and soldiers at bay. If that layer of protection were to fail, she still had her own skills and training to fall back on.

"Do not allow it to come to that," Gaius Helen Mohiam had told her a few days before when she announced the arrangement she'd made. "Violence and The Voice is a last resort. You must charm, persuade... you must influence if things are to go smoothly."

"I understand." She had said, but really she was nearly overcome with terror, imagining herself as a lamb thrown into the wolves den.

"Stop that!" The Reverend Mother snapped, voice curt. "Do not forget yourself Anastacia. They are at your mercy, you are not at theirs. Only they don't know it. Ignorance and arrogance in a target is a great advantage, do not squander it."

She nodded sharply and tried to pull herself together, but the Mother saw through her as if she was made of glass.

"Poor child." She took her hand in a rare moment of affection. Although incredibly strict and cruel at times, Gaius was not without kindness, she gave warmth when she thought it necessary. "It's only two days, and then you will be moved to Kaitain for some time. I've already spoken to the Count and arranged for one of his daughters to accompany you. Her own mother was a Sister, you will not be alone there."

That had given her more strength to cope with the situation, but the fact did not change that she would eventually be forced to reside in Giedi Prime for the rest of her life.

She thought of another passage, Fate and Hope only rarely speak the same language.

She began to pack the the rest of her belongings from the dormitory. She had very little to her name, only her clothing and school books, and a dainty neckless with a small emerald. A parting gift from the Reverend Mother.

Soon enough she would be without the protection of her school, a stranger in a strange land tasked with building relations with a house and man too abrasive to be called real humans.

She did not pray often, and usually felt stupid doing it. But she sent out a prayer then, to whatever higher power may be listening, and hoped it was kinder than the people she was heading towards.

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a/n: i'm thinking shorter chapters for this and quicker updates. kinda just going with the flow. hope you enjoyed!

emma out ୨୧