The Strongest Man ever! (Urusei Yatsura X Autistic Male reader)

Lum on the Phone!

It had been A Short time since Lum had left thinking to herself that she would get rid of Shinobu to make you her Husband, and you were currently watching the news, as they were praising you for saving Humanity.

Y/n: Wow, I'm A World Hero!

Atari: Yeah, but you do have some Haters for being "A Threat to the Planet".

Y/n: So Lex Luthors?

Atari: Yeah, Kind of.

Just then you got A Phone call and it was Shinobu.

Y/n: Oh It's Shinobu. 

You then ran up to your room and answered it.

Y/n: (Picks up Phone) Hello Shinobu.

Shinobu: Hello Y/n, Did you see the news?

Y/n: Yeah, I'm A Global Hero.

Shinobu: With A Few Different Haters.

Y/n: Yeah, Lex Luthors.

Shinobu: A What?

Y/n: Watch Superman the Animated Series, then you will understand.

Shinobu: Yeah, Anyways I wonder where that Bitch went. I mean she Must have seriously been mentally messed up to think she can Just Marry you. I mean-

???: Who are you calling A Mentally Messed up Bitch!?

Y/n/Shinobu: Lum!?

Lum had somehow gotten onto the Phone call!

Y/n: Lum what are you doing here!?

Shinobu: Wait, is she at your house?

Y/n: No! She's on the call somehow!

Lum: Oh Darling, I wanted to spend time with you so why would you complain~?

Y/n: Um, because-

Shinobu: Because You're A Bitch!

Lum: Shut up!

Shinobu: Hang up and I'll call Back!

Y/n: Right.

Lum: No, Wait-!

Just then you both Hung up your Phones and redialed each other and every time this happened Lum would butt in with her own Call.

Meanwhile, in space, she was in A Small OnI Ship as she sat down on An Alien Bean bag chair trying to Listen to your calls.

Lum: If darling thinks he can talk to that cheater without me then He has another thing coming! I'll Just turn on The Jamming Device.

She then turned on an Alien Jamming device which made A Small Black Hole in the air above both your and Shinobu's Houses, and She began Listening in again.

Y/n: Shinobu... I'll... Come... Over... Just... Wait...

Lum: H-He's coming over to her house...? NO! DARLING YOU CHEATER! I WON'T LET YOU! I'LL JUST TURN ON THE JAMMER TO MAXINUM POWER! YOU WON'T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE THEN!

Just then A Hurricane Level storm hit the Area between your and Shinobu's Houses as You were prepared to Leave but Atari stopped you.

Atari: Big Brother Wait! Take this!

She then Handed you A Rubber Rain Coat.

Atari: This will protect you.

Y/n: Thanks Atari.

Atari: EEEEE! Big Brother Gave me praise!

Y/n: ... Get A Life, Please, Little Sister.

You then ran outside in the Middle of A Massive Thunderstorm with your Raincoat on to Protect yourself, and A Light Pole was about to fall on you when suddenly Cherry Pushed you out of the way!

Cherry: WATCH OUT CHILD!!

But he completely miscalculated and the light pole fell on top of you.

Cherry: Oh. May that Child rest in Peace. He was Strong but he was not very Lucky and-

Just then you got up and swung the Light pole sending him flying like A Baseball!

Y/n: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU OLD FREAK!?

Cherry: HE'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!

Y/n: Okay Now I Just need to- AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

You were Just then Electrocuted by all of the Lightning in the Area as you were Holding the Tallest Metal Object in the Area, and you were hit with A Hurricane's worth of Lightning, and you fell to the ground burnt up and Hurt.

Lum/Shinobu: DARLING!/ Y/N!

They Both saw what happened and ran over to make sure you were Okay thankfully you were still alive but you needed First Aid.

Lum: Don't worry Darling I'll give you Mouth to Mouth!

Shinobu: Wait, who said you're giving him Mouth to Mouth!? I AM!

Lum: I'm His Future Wife so I will!

Shinobu: No I will!

Lum: No I will and that's Final!

Shinobu: No I freaking will and that's Final! Shut up!

Lum: No You shut up!

They both continued to argue with each other and you were Just Lying there watching them fighting.

Y/n: Hello... I'm Hurt... Help Please... Some Help... Oh, Geez...