perfect for me | sookook

13

The urge to make everything right

It surely wasn't a great time to visit Jisoo. Jungkook could clearly see the scene taking place infront of the apartment bulding as he stood watching them from afar. Seokjin clearly looked happy, hugging that young man- who Jungkook couldn't recongnize from his old memories either. Obvious he doesn't want to emerge into that household to be a fun infornt of that stranger.

So he watched them from a safe distance, the young man was biding good bye as he got on his brand new Audi before driving away, more like Jungkook's way. Jungkook ran fast to hide somewhere close as he waited until the car drove past him.

Startling Jungkook, a hand grabbed him by the collar pulling him on to feet from the kneeling position.

"What are you doing here, Jungkook?"

Jungkook felt uncomfortable infront of Jimin's intense glare, as he stood there like a culprit who was cought doing a crucial crime. Jimin reads Jungkook, and even after every drama between them have happend he could still do that without doubt. Jimin could see the broken Jungkook behind those eyes- what he haven't seen for a long time.

Eventhough Jimin wanted to ask, what's wrong, he couldn't bring himself to. So he shrugs, shaking off even a thought of concern for his ex bestfriend.

"Go away. It will not end up good if Jin hyung sees you around," Jimin gives him a lazy shrug. Turning away from the latter to walk back home.

"I wanna meet Jisoo,"

And that froze Jimin, But he isn't actually surprised, startled maybe. But he'd seen it coming, and knew it was only a matter of time before it did. He turns around back to facing Jungkook, his pupils constricting as he stares into the latter's eyes. "Why do you wanna meet her?"

A lumb forms in Jungkook's throat. He knows the answer but he can't bring himself to say the words out loud. He stands there, helpless, feeling too volatile, too vulnerable. Until he decides to speak up.

"I wanna make everything right." Jungkook's eyes held certainty. His heart thumbing against his rib cage with the same enthusiasm he'd when he first confessed to Jisoo, when he first let his heart out. Now again his heart was whimpering to be free, if he was uncertain for few seconds ago why he was here, now he wasn't.

He was stupid to let Jisoo go.

This thought is tinged with the heartbreak of him never being enough for her, and his selfish hands itched to take her back. Even if she deserves better. Even if she deserves to orbit around something less lacklustre, something more alive than he could ever be.

He wants her back. He always does.

"I.. I want her back."

Jimin's brows quirks up. For a moment he says nothing. And Jungkook holds his breath. Jimin couldn't hold it in anymore, he couldn't act nonchalant with the emotions Jungkook wanted to show off to him. He couldn't bring himself to turn his back on Jungkook, whatever happened, in the end it's their Jungkook- his bestfriend.

"So....... she left?" Jimin asks, his eyes darting the latter's way for a second but falling back immediately to where it was, as they stare out at the dark, empty street, seated on the front porch steps of their America settled neighbour's little house.

Jungkook hums softly, nodding along and they fell into an awkward silence. Neither of them spoke for a while as Jimin gave his thoughts a piece of mind. He was listening to Jungkook for a quite time now and he got to know every single detail about the whole backstory from when everything started to fall apart, how he ended up too vulnerable, too broken.

Jimin knew, Jungkook doesn't deserves a second chance after what he'd done to Jisoo. But at the end of the day if you really tried to hear his defence for once, you'll found a least hope that he can fix it. There was a point where he didn't wanted to but it did happend. A point where Jungkook had tried his best but failed with much regret and pain.

And Jimin exactly doesn't want this to be an excuse he could form for his bestfriend. Just his conclusion, just his thought on that shitty life Jungkook is living out there.

"And how could I believe you Jungkook?" Jimin asks, "that you're not just back to wanting Jisoo in your life because the other has left,"

Jungkook felt his jaw clench, but he had no right to be angry, not when it's completely a honest defenceive question to be asked from Jimin's side. It simply meant he cares for Jisoo.

"Tzuyu have never been happy with me, Jimin" Jungkook rubbed his hands together. More than the cold weather, the coldness of his heart shivered him. "She never had anything from me other than the title as my girlfriend. I'd never touched her beyond a line other than that one chaste kiss we had when I was drunk." He breaths in, rubbing his hands harder.

"Telling me all this doesn't make your doings a great work, Jungkook,"

"I know." Jungkook could feel Jimin's heavy probing eyes on him. "I was attracted to Tzuyu, there's no doubt about that. But attraction was just attraction, and maybe in an alternate reality, I really could have fallen for her. But the reality where I lives in is one where Jisoo's presence makes that impossible. That's exactly why I couldn't never replace her with someone else. Even if I tried, I failed so miserably that eventhough I want to I couldn't climb up back now."

Jungkook shrugs as he wiped away the tears forming in his eyes. "Jisoo is Jisoo. There's no change in that. It's a realization that comes to me to paint a bitter smile on my face, and though it stings- quite a lot- I'm beginning to understand that the only thing I can do is accept my lose and everything else that it implies." He sniffs inaudibly. "And if there is one thing I should've known all this time, it's that in the end, I would be the one retracing my steps back to her, and undoing the goodbye Jisoo woven into the unfinished narrative of our story. Wait, no, not undo. More like- rewrite. I will rewrite our goodbye. Dilute the acid of it with the truth. Make it so that it stings less- and weighs less."

At this point Jungkook had started crying soundly, but trying to make it look like he wasn't made Jimin realize he really was crying. And Jimin needed no other written or oral proof that infact Jungkook was sincere with everything he have blurted out just now.

Jimin gets closer to grab Jungkook in for a hug, a heart wrenching sight if you ask, as Jungkook sobbed shamelessly into Jimin's shirt while the latter caressed his back. "I need a one chance, Jimin. One last chance. I swear I'll make everything right. I just, I just want her back"

He cries harder, and Jimin don't know if it was right to say at the moment, but he did nevertheless.

"I'm sorry but you're late Jungkook,"

Jungkook suddenly stops as he backs away from Jimin to look up. His blood shot eyes making Jimin immediately regret whatever he said right there. But there was no going back now.

Jungkook's brows furrow. "What do you mean?"

Jimin sighs heavily. oh you, poor thing!

"Jisoo is getting married in just 3 weeks,"