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I think I'm about to combust into a puddle of anxiety. I see the little group of five boys sitting on our usual table, talking and laughing as if they knew each other since forever.
I know I'll just ruin the atmosphere with my shitty face and my shitty mood. I consider turning back and never showing up. It's a possibility that weights heavily because it just seems so much easier than going there and having to endure Jisung. Just with today's morning classes I think I got enough of his piercing stare for the next two months. Or, rather, for the next two lives.
Before deciding whether to go or leave, I take a close look to the table.
Seungmin is smiling softly, his I'm-secretly-eighty-four girn, how Felix and Hyunjin like to say. He's attentively listening to what the younger of them all has to say. Jeongin looks like he's telling a story with fierce passion, cheeks slightly red and dimples showing on his face. The taller one out of them is totally invested in whatever the boy has to say.
Hyunjin always pays full attention to people when they're telling something they're passionate about.
Felix has his head on his hands, gaze also unmoving from Jeongin. He's making expressions as the story goes along.
And Jisung, well, Jisung is looking at me. Or right through me, to be precise.
I gasp, not expecting his eyes to have fallen on me. I want to leave. I want to go home. Please someone take me home.
"Hey, Min!" Hyunjin, oblivious little- giant - Hyunjin. He's waving at me enthusiastically, telling me to come closer and seat with them.
I smile awkwardly but walk towards them anyway because now they've already seen me, so if I leave now they'll probably ask questions I really don't feel like answering.
I don't want to worry them over this. Or over anything, for that matter.
The blonde pats the spot next to him with a smile. Right next to Jisung, too.
Great.
"What took you so long?" he asks as I sit down. I don't have lunch, I notice. Must've forgotten to make it for myself. "Ah! This is Jisung, the new student. And the cute little guy is Jeongin, his best friend. He was just telling us about his shoe collection."
Felix gives me a smile and Seungmin does too. He probably now knows that this is the Jisung I was talking about that night.
Jeongin smiles at me. "I already know Minho. We work together."
"Oh, so the only one you don't know then is Jisung?" Hyunjin asks. I see Jisung opening his mouth to say something, probably deny that and express how he does know me from before.
