Little Love

Chapter 14: Atone Her Sins

Dear Lovelies,

I wish all my readers who are appearing for exams luck. Do your best!!

Love

W

"Jeet, you really need not do this." Dipu pleaded with the lanky boy. She was sitting beside his hospital bed. "You have a broken leg and wrist." She tried to reason with him.

"I know Masi, but my right hand is fine. I can still write the exam." Jeet argued back. All the kids, barring Tima had their last board exam still to go. Kailash and Pihu were sure to miss the last exam but Jeet wanted to write the exam. Everybody tried to convince him otherwise, but he would not budge. Everyone thought his sincerity as a student was the cause of his stubbornness. But was it?

"Ok as you wish. But you will stay at my place until you recover fully." Dipu Masi put forward her condition.

"Masi—" Jeet tried to protest.

"You cannot have your way all the time, Jeet." Dipu Masi almost yelled at him with anger and concern. "Either you rest and take the supplementary test, or let me take care of you till you recover completely." She declared with no room for argument. Jeet just nodded like an obedient child.

**

The scorching heat passed, and the sky was clouded with dark clouds casting a dark shadow. It has been five months since the vicious night. Jeet had spent three months in the Mukherjee mansion. He scored perfectly in his boards. He also bagged a magnificent rank in all his medical entrance tests. Despite all this, as the wet days of July passed, Jeet was swirling into a pit of despair. His feelings for his best friend were all over the place. He started avoiding her but always ended up around her.

"Jeeeeet", Jeet heard the sweetest voice. He turned to see Pihu running towards him. He was sitting on the study table Akash used to use before he left for college. Before Jeet could react, Pihu jumped on him and warped her arms around her neck. She hugged her like a koala. She pushed her face into his neck. Jeet hesitated but, at last, wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her to his chest.

"What is the matter, Pihu?' He asked softly. Pihu did not answer but stayed hugging him for a while. Jeet wanted never to let go, but he forced himself to pull back. It was painful, to say the least. "What is the matter?" He asked again as he scanned her smiling face.

"You got through Calcutta Medical College. You topped the merit in WB Joint." She said enthusiastically. "You need not go away. You can stay with us." Her smile was so wholesome that Jeet, for the very first time, wanted to kiss his best friend. The desire to hold her close and engulf her in self was so intense that it was almost physical pain to let her down.

"Pihu...I.." he licked his lips in anticipation. "I will wait for the other results to come out before I decide where to join." He looked away as the disappointment in Pihu's eyes was like daggers piercing his heart.

"But why?" you can stay here and...and..." she was running out of reasons and excuses. She just looked into his eyes in desperation. "Please stay" She couldn't do anything but plead. Jeet closed his eyes. He had already decided to leave, and he will not go back on his decision. From his perspective, his feelings for his best friend would have wrecked everything between them.

"Pihu..." He tried to give her a good reason.

"No Jeet. I don't know why you are doing this. Why are you trying to go away? What is your problem? Why?" Pihu was now on her feet. Jeet felt a sense of emptiness as she jerked herself away from her. Her eyes held pain.

"Pihu, it is not like that. I am not trying to go away." Jeet hesitated for a bit. "I just want to do what is best for me." He felt disgusted with himself. His excuse was pathetic.

"Really?" Pihu just whispered. Jeet could tell that she had bought none of his nonsense. Before Jeet could say anything else, Pihu turned on her heels and left. Jeet just stared at the door with blank eyes.

**

"Palash..." Dipu walked out of the twin's room carrying a bowl. "Palash...kothai tui? (Where are you?)" Her voice was stressed. She disappeared inside the kitchen. A small figure entered the living room. A timid Tima walked briskly towards the twin's room. She hesitated briefly at the doorstep but peeped in after a moment. Finding no one inside, she stepped inside the room cautiously. She did not want to make a sound. She didn't want to wake up Kailash.

Tima sat beside his bed. Kailash was sleeping peacefully. His limbs and head were bandaged. The scars on his face had turned pale red. The corner of his lips had a stitch mark. His lips had split open during the fight. The wounds on his face were deep. Tima knew that the wounds would leave scars for a lifetime.

After that night everything changed for both the family. Kailash and Pihu could not write their last exam. Although Pihu appeared for the supplementary exams, Kailash could not. He has a backbone injury. Even after five months, he can hardly walk. Aroop had left no stone unturned to treat his son. He had called doctors from Delhi and even abroad, but every doctor had the same thing to say: "It would take time". The guilt of her act was eating her up from inside.

She had met Puchan outside her school one day. Puchan was the perfect Rahul for her Anjali. (Ref: Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.) He had painted the love paradise for Tima. She felt things she had never felt before  - butterflies, lightning, and everything else. She never wanted to cause any harm to the people she loved, but her young mind could not understand deception.

"Kailashda.." her voice broke as she whispered his name. All the taunts, stares, whispers and rumours she faced all day weighed upon her like a bolder. She would come to Kailash every day when he was deep in slumber to find solace and to "atone for her sins". "I am so...so sorry." She caressed the back of her hand and stepped away. She bent under his bed and took out the bedpan. It was packed, yet she did not flinch. She took it inside the washroom. After some time, she came out of the washroom with a clean bedpan and put it under Kailash's bed. She then bathed and changed into fresh clothes.

"Tima..." Palash entered the room but was not shocked to see the girl inside. His shoulders stooped. "How many times do I need to tell you that you don't have to do this?" He asked with petty in his voice.

"Palashda, baba..." Tima was about to repeat her well-practised reply, but Palash cut her in between.

"I know what Sudip Mesho said. But you need not do all these. We have a caregiver." Palash tried to reason out with Tima.

"I know, but baba is right. I should face the consequences of my actions. Beside..." She sighed. "...taking care of him gives me peace." She said with a sad smile. She walked past Palash to the bedside table and grabbed an ointment tube. She gently dabbed the ointment on Kailash's wounds with her finger. Palash shook his head and walked out. Tima has taken care of Kailash for the past five months as her "punishment", but for her, it was her way of penance.