The young mountain goat lived on a mountain. As peculiar as that may sound it was the bonafide truth. This goat's name was Herbert. He was purple with white spots. Herbert had a disease. He would probably die tomorrow, so he decided to go on an outrageous adventure. Upon further observation, Herbert found out that he didn't actually have a disease. So he decided to postpone his adventure and took a nap. When he woke up he saw a beautiful lady goat? Herbert realized that his love for the nanny was unfathomably true. Now all that was left to do was convince the nanny of her feelings and then marry her. He got out paper and began to map out a plan to woo the nanny, or in the very least impress her with his vast intellect. Obviously, Herbert wasn't thinking of the fact that the nanny was standing right in front of his face watching his every move. At this point Herbert realized that hoofs made it very difficult to hold a pencil, subsequently making the planning process all the more difficult. Rats, they were everywhere, surrounding him and Sherbert. Sherbert had a disease. Herbert could tell because her pink body had stripes all over it.
"Shoo you rats," Herbert yelled. The rats scattered, but quickly migrated back to Sherbert. Sherbert's disease, among other things, caused her to radiate a vile smell which the rats found very attractive in a non-romantic way, like gravity. "You darn rats, get out of here" Herbert called heroically. Once again, the rats scattered, but this time, Herbert reared up and stomped a couple rats to the dirt. The rats had learned their lesson and Herbert had successfully impressed Sherbert.
"Oh Herbert, how can I ever thank you, a big strong handsome goat who isn't dying?" Sherbert gushed.
Herbert blushed, in a goaty type of way, before glancing down at the ground shyly. "Well if it wouldn't be too much trouble, I would enjoy marrying you." he admitted. He wiggled his goat eyebrows and Sherbert laughed harshly.
"Excuse me, sir, but I'm afraid that I have no idea who the heck you are and I would very much like it if you would leave me alone to die," Sherbert said.
Herbert was shocked and hurt, unable to imagine Sherbert ever dying without him cradling her head and weeping over her corpse. She had just shunned their unfathomably true love, and without a good reason!
Sherbert smiled sympathetically and began to writhe away from Herbert, the creepy purple goat without a disease. She had better things to do with the rest of her life now that all the rats had fled, like go on an adventure. But upon further observation, she couldn't get up so she decided to take a nap instead. She determined that naps are very good for the soul.
Herbert looked at the beautiful pink goat with a disease sleeping on the ground and curled up next to her. "My poor poor diseased, unfathomably true love." He whispered.
After a few minutes, Sherbert wakes suddenly, screaming.
"Shhhh, quiet my unfathomably true love, it will all be right soon." Herbert soothed.
"Eeeewie you creepy goat, just because I already have a disease doesn't mean I want another one!"
A rainbow appeared and suddenly Sherbert was healed, so she bolted off into the mountains, never to be seen again. The End.
