The Braverman website hadn't mentioned another child. Jacob was in unbelief. How could the Bravermans only have 6 children? I mean, with a name like "Braver-Man," shouldn't they be so "brave" that they have at least 27?? Anyway, it was unthinkable that Jacob's sister would have gone off and married that man from Germany. The injury it had caused to the family name, especially after her older brother had...well the damage caused by their actions would be irreparable.
It all started on a Wednesday. Evelyn, Jacob's beautiful younger sister, had met this strange man in a bookstore. As Jacob had watched the man propose through the bookshop window he growled deeply in his throat. He was absolutely furious, so he stormed through the door and grabbed the man by the collar, pushing him against the bookshelf nearby. Everything was a blur. Evelyn's shriek, the angry shouts of other customers, and the image of that German man slumped on the floor, a small pool of blood starting to form.....
Jacob shook his head, then remembered what had happened with his older brother, merely hours before. Jacob's older brother, Marco Juan Pedro Rodrico, had quarreled with him over the severe issue of the declining environment, and Jacob was flustered. With his already aggravated emotional state, his extreme reaction to his sister's sudden engagement should have been understandable. Glancing down at the fresh dirt on the ground Jacob sighed, as it really was a shame.
ANYWAYS, let's move into the present time now. After that terrible day, Jacob had been disowned and to avoid further disgrace, moved to a small cabin in Michigan. He stared out of the window of his attic, watching his neighbors party in her backyard below. All of the sudden, he spotted a movement out of his peripheral vision, coming from somewhere in the woods. A large, hairy object was coming at her house with surprising speed, and it was only when the creature got closer that Jacob could get a closer look at it. It was a beast unlike any he had seen before, with the head of a beaver, the body of an eagle, and the legs of an octopus. It moved briskly toward the party, heading straight for my neighbor, and I knew I had to act fast or my neighbor have a very unfortunate end. On the way out of my house, I grabbed the only weapon I had: A plastic wiffle bat. Upon further observation, I also had a jar full of blackberry and blueberry jam, which could come in handy.
I grabbed the blackberry jam with my free hand and leapt out the third story window, landing directly on the back of the eccentric creature. With a terrific war cry, I opened the jar of jam and deftly smeared the tar-like substance in the monster's eyes. Surprisingly, it did nothing, and the Beaglepus simply continued to rush forward. Astonished that my plan didn't go according to plan, I didn't know what to do, so I jammed the plastic whiffle bat into a random hole (probably an ear) on the side of its head. With an awful scream, the Beaglepus crumbled under me, writhing. Who would have ever guessed that the Achilles heel of this hideous beast would be plastic?
All the guests at my neighbor's party stared our way, horrified as the scene unfolded before them. I came to my feet, expecting a warm cry of "Hurrah!" or maybe a love stricken call of "My Hero!" Instead my lovely neighbor stared at me in anger, crying, "My poor little Grace!"
Before my neighbor rushed to "Grace's" side, she pulled the bloody plastic bat out of the monster's ear and swung at me. This was my cue. I fled the town and never returned.
THE END
