Rodrick was the first one to tell me about the Goat Man, who said he was a half man, half goat. No one quite knew how the goat man, who preferred Jerry, came to be. Jerry was the goat man's best friend, although not many people knew this and in fact quite a few were confused on the matter. There were many theories on how the goat man, Prometheus, came to be, like the Car-Crashing Theory, the Cliff-Falling Theory, and the Saw Theory. The Car-Crashing Theory, as the name implies, postulates that after a large car crash, Prometheus was born on a farm outside of the city far away from the aforementioned car crash. After the car crash Prometheus was also mangled like the people in the car crash. Hence the reason that he was half goat and half man, many experts concluded. Because of the mangled nature of the human bodies and the goat body, scientists took the goat head and legs and sewed them together with fishing line to the mangled parts of 3 separate humans. Of course this was just a theory, much like the Cliff-Falling Theory which consisted of a yodeling goat herd and his herd. This is when they got in a fight about the goat man, Prometheus, being born. You see, in their Pagan religion, the goats believed that once every 3405 years a goat man would be born, bringing prosperity to the herd that that specific goat man belonged to. Aaaaaaanyway, so basically they say that they got into fight because Prometheus wasn't born with a goat head like he was supposed to. So they ended up pushing him off a cliff, which he survived from and now he wears a goat head mask as his only form of protection. The next theory is the Saw Theory, which begins when a living saw comes too close to the baby Prometheus. Upon further inspection, the Saw Theory does not even include a saw in the traditional sense. Yeah...it was a living saw, which is just a tree that has been cut by a saw but somehow is still performing basic plant functions despite being void of roots. It was the same magic that sustained this living saw that likely imbued itself into Prometheus's human mother. Since this gave some magic to his mother, he also gained the magic to be the goat man. When Rodrick first told me about the Goat Man I was undeniably afraid, however, as I began to ask around, I found out that my best friend Jerry was also Prometheus's best friend.Upon further investigation, Jerry wasn't really my best friend, but more of like an acquaintance that I met 2 hours ago on a video game called Poptropica-that's right, we battled a sewer together. After I stole his clothing, Jerry came clean about Prometheus and told me that I could also become acquainted with him if I returned the clothing. I had to take about an hour to think about if I would like to return his clothing or never meet this Prometheus goat man. As it was the most difficult decision of my life, I took about thirty seconds longer, before deciding that I would rather keep Jerry's clothing. The end.
