God of Temptation

Chapter 38

~Remington~

Lan shoots a glance at the woman nestled in my arms, a hint of irritation flickering across his blue eyes.

I don't loosen my hold on her shoulder; instead, I pull her closer, attempting to mold her to my side, but it's nothing like the way Ariella used to fit. I shouldn't be dwelling on her. Not after witnessing her take someone's life.

I haven't spoken about that night, and I'd rather not, truth be told. If anything, I'd prefer to erase it from memory altogether. Yet, it seems nature isn't always gentle with its reminders.

After waking up in the hospital, I faced intense questioning from the police. They had lost their patrol group in the blast intended for me. They probed into the incident, but Ariella had been thorough in covering her tracks. I was declared innocent and set free.

For a fleeting moment, I considered revealing that I had witnessed Ariella kill Lyla. Then again, Lyla was the antagonist who had set the trap for me and abducted Ariella. I haven't seen Ariella since that night. Even though I knew she was staying in the room next to mine, I refrained from visiting her. I understood that if I did, it would be difficult for me to walk away, and I am resolved to part ways with Ariella. The permanence I once envisioned with her is nothing but a fleeting dream.

I ache for her beyond words, yet I also recognize that it's wiser for us to maintain our distance. Ultimately, Ariella is the woman I shouldn't desire, and my judgment was clouded by the lust that blinded me to the danger she brought. I must sever ties with her before her darkness consumes me entirely, and I forsake my principles.

I can never stoop to Ariella's level, and I have no desire to. Those papers she penned weren't merely tales; they reflected her twisted fixation on me.

And the worst part? It's that I found myself liking it. I didn't just appreciate Ariella's obsession with me; I craved it. The fact that she would go to such lengths, even taking a life, for my sake—it stirred something within me. But my father raised me better than this. I can't allow myself to be a selfish man, standing idly by while Ariella wreaks havoc, destroying lives and tearing families apart.

"She woke up," Lan says, grounding me back to reality.

I know exactly who he's talking about when he says "she." I almost let out a sigh of relief that's been pent up for five days. She's been unconscious for so long, and all I could do was inhale the lingering scent of her shampoo back at the apartment.

"And? What now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Lan, what do I do with this piece of information?"

"You really don't care?" Lan probes, suspicion swirling in his gaze, but I refuse to reveal my hand.

I stay silent, meeting his gaze head-on.

Lan shakes his head, frustration evident in his voice. "Is that really you, Remi?"

His question lands like a punch to the gut, but I can't afford to be Remi anymore. I lost too much that night to reclaim that identity. I can't risk losing the people who truly matter to me.

"Are you finished? Because sympathy really doesn't suit you," I retort, attempting to defend myself.

Lan starts to retort with something shitty but catches himself mid-sentence. Instead, he turns on his heel and walks away, leaving me with the woman in my arms.

I glance down at her, feeling the weight of her gaze. "Don't expect anything from me," I say sharply.

Her expression mirrors hurt, as though I've just slapped her across the face, and I can't deny it—I'm acting like a grade-A jerk, and I don't even feel remorseful about it.

The dream I had today replays in my mind, haunting me. Ariella dying in my arms, calling out to me, and me refusing to acknowledge her—it's like a knife twisting in my heart, each turn sending a million ants crawling over it.

Every fiber of my being longs to go to Ariella, to hold her tight, to push this other woman away and claim Ariella as my own. But deep down, I know it's not the right path for either of us. Ariella is toxic for me. Her darkness is overpowering, threatening to extinguish my light until it flickers out completely.

Never before in my life have I yearned for someone like I do for Ariella. And yet, she's the one person I can't have, not if it means losing myself in the process. Let's face it, in the end, we'll both grow tired of each other.

An overwhelming need for air grips me, and I bolt outside, craving the freshness of it. Standing there, I gulp in breaths until I feel a semblance of relief. My eyes well up with tears; I feel downright miserable. I want Ariella. I miss her beyond words. Each inhalation fills my lungs, but it's not the air I crave—it's her, ma chérie, whom I long for.

The girl who fought for my attention when all I did was push her away.

The girl who made me yearn to be her boyfriend.

The girl whose gaze held the entire world.

The girl in whose eyes I glimpsed my own reflection.

The girl who stirred up possessiveness within me like a psychopath.

The girl with whom I envisioned permanence. Forever.

But that very girl embodies darkness. I have to walk away, because she is the best thing to me, and good things never stay.

I collapse to the ground, my hands instinctively covering my face as tears stream down uncontrollably. I'm not one to cry in public, but today, I can't seem to hold it back. I don't have to worry about someone finding me like this either, since no one comes to this balcony. The weight of the past few days bears down on me, and today's haunting dream has pushed me over the edge. It's just too much to handle all at once.

A hand reaches out from behind, gently patting my back. Embarrassment floods over me, and I instinctively try to stand up, but the hand keeps me still.

"As mad as I am at you right now, you're still my cousin," Vivian's voice breaks through, her head resting on my shoulder as she soothes me with her touch.

"Just let it out," she encourages, and I do. I turn to hug her, and she embraces me back, letting me know she's here for me.

Vivian will never judge me, no matter how foolish I am. But I feel guilty for putting her in a tough spot, torn between Ariella and me.

"I'm sorry," I manage between tears, still hiding my face in her shoulder.

"Sorry for what, Remi?" Her voice is soft and caring.

"For making you choose between her and me."

Vivian chuckles and cups my face, "I'll never choose. While Ariella is my best friend, you're my big brother. I love both of you. So rest assured, if I have to choose then I choose both of you."

Another wave of tears fills my eyes, and I hug her tightly. Vivian waits patiently until my mini meltdown subsides.

"So, you really like her, huh?" She asks as we sit together.

I shrug, "Well, she's not all bad."

"Oh, come on, she's the best," Vivian teases, nudging my stomach, and I play along, feigning pain.

"Why are you doing this?" Vivian's tone turns serious.

"Because it's what's best. Her darkness is too much for me to handle, and I fear it will consume me."

"Remi, it's not that—"

"Leave it, Viv. It's better this way," I interrupt, knowing she'll try to convince me otherwise. "And just so you know, I'm going to hurt her even more to make sure she stops thinking about me."

"Don't do this to her, or yourself," Vivian pleads, her eyes glassy with concern.

"I don't want to either, Viv."

Vivian rises from her spot, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder before giving me a faint smile. I return it, and she leaves me with my thoughts, which threatens another meltdown. But I numb my mind with weed. Sometimes, a little weed is all it takes.