SILENCE | ATEEZ

12 | Faces In The Dark

All of them then decide to sit on the chairs scattered around the room, seemingly keeping company to themselves. Killing the time in between seemingly killing him slowly too as Jongho dwells into his thoughts. His mind keeps on thinking, every worst thing that he could think of other than death. He takes a seat far into the corner by himself, closing his eyes as he tries to pry away those thoughts from haunting him but it keeps on coming back to him relentlessly. All the thoughts are intertwining with each other and he keeps on seeing faces emerging in his head that he could not make out who.

It doesn't make any sense, yet it still doesn't go away.

His attempt to persuade Mingi into believing him found its way to the drain and it has been bothering his mind. Jongho takes a look around him as he stares at each of the members, not knowing who to trust and who to blame. All he can see now is how everyone is no longer interested in escaping, rather they are all pretending to prepare for the last quarter.

Why can't anyone trust him?

This isn't just a survival game. Why are they still playing this? Why are they constantly volunteering to trust every single thing VESTRA said? Jongho shakes his head as it throbs, feeling dizzy from all of the things playing in his mind.

Why them? Why not anyone else?

Unconsciously he keeps on peeling his fingers, as blood starts to trickle down within the edges. More thoughts flow into his mind as he brings his hands onto his head, knocking it down. San notices him and he slowly makes his way to sit beside Jongho.

"Panicking isn't the best way to survive."

"Oh, fuck off with your pep talk," Jongho blurts, out of annoyance. There's something about San just doesn't sit right with him. His nonchalant behaviour, his lack of respect and communication towards others, his constant poker face and attitude, everything about him irritates Jongho.

The way this guy manage to make everyone trust him even though he barely did anything, is the main reason why Jongho considers him as the most irritating person he ever met.

"Just saying," San replies, not even slightly affected by his response.

"This is so unfair," Jongho starts, as he turns towards San with a menacing look, "why is everyone so trusting towards you? I don't get it. I don't think I ever will."

San raises his eyebrows as he doesn't expect those words coming out from Jongho. He doesn't reply as Jongho continues, looking at him as if he's ready to swing a fist.

"Everything I said, no one believes me. But when it's anyone else? When it's you? Suddenly everything makes sense. Everything is correct," he takes a deep breath, "I don't get it. Why? Is it because I don't look reliable enough, huh? Or maybe cause I am not as good enough for anyone?"

"What are you so pressed about?" San asks, clearly feeling challenged with Jongho's tone, "you've never voice out anything to the others and now you want to blame me? I only spoke when I had to, for god's sakes. This is the exact reason why I hate associating with people. All you think about is yourself. Did you ever think about the others?"

"I think about everyone and everything each second I am in this hell hole!" Jongho's tone hardens, "no one ever fucking take me seriously."

"What is it then? Tell me," San replies calmly, as his face turns slightly sour. "Tell me what the hell is going on in that mind of yours."

"Why bother? You won't even believe me if I did," Jongho lets out a chuckle, slamming his head back to the wall behind them. "Turns out all of my worries are considered useless anyway."

Jongho takes the opportunity to stand up from the floor and dusts his pants before walking to the nearest bed in front of him, leaving San behind. Confused written all over San's face as he tries to comprehend Jongho's attitude towards him. What did he do wrong again? A hint of anxiety triggers his heart as he begins to bite his lips, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, desperately wanting the burst of thoughts in his mind to go away. He lets out a deep breath, trying to take control over his own mind again.