Izzy & Noah

Seventy-Six: Echoes of You - I See You Everywhere

I ran to the window and opened it. The air that fills the room calms me; the cold air that hits my body calms me. I sit down on the floor, next to the open window, in the cold.

˝ Sorry, Luka, sorry for everything. ˝ I reply. I put my head on my knee.

˝ Don't apologise, Izzy, you have every right to feel the way you do. ˝ Luke replies, bringing me a blanket and covering me with it, sitting down next to me and holding me in his arms.

˝ I don't know how I'm going to survive this. The weight of what has happened is too much. ˝ I lift my head and look in Luke's direction.

˝ You will, I believe. You are the strongest person I know. ˝ Luka replies, giving me hope, even though he doesn't know me, he gives me someone, at least someone to believe in, to hope that I go on with this life, that I don't give up.

˝What are you doing here? ˝ I ask when I have calmed down a bit.

He is still embracing me as we go from enemy to friend.

 His skin is warm and his hug is soft. But Luka is not Noah, Luka is different, closed.

 Noah was familiar, close, smiling, full of life.

˝Noah left nothing to chance, he planned everything, he told you that, didn't he? And when they agreed to go to Paris, he asked me to come along, to be at the hotel if anything went wrong, so you wouldn't be alone, to help you. ˝ Luka replies.

That hits me deep in the heart. We are in the middle of Paris and the day is slowly beginning. The sun is shining.

"I didn't know it was you, I never thought about it. But yes, that was Noah, so predictable. How did you know that something had happened? ˝ I answer, a little thoughtfully.

˝I had just arrived at the hotel when I saw the paramedics, I knew something was wrong and then I got a call from Katy, who was pretty desperate and didn't know what to do. ˝ He continues.

˝You are a good friend to know that you took time out for your sick friend and made sure that nothing happened to his girlfriend, that she was safe even when he was gone. ˝ I say to Luke. I play with the ring on my hand.

˝Luke, can I ask you something? Why do you hate me, I feel like you're always mad at me when you see me? ˝ I continue.

˝I am not angry with you or with anyone. Not even at the fact that they got engaged, maybe that's how I really felt, but I was happy for you and I was happy for Noah that he met the love of his life, maybe I was a little jealous that he met her. ˝ He replies sincerely.

At least he seems sincere to me, although I think I can tell from his voice that he is hiding something, that he is hiding the truth.

˝Interesting. ˝ I'm just saying absent. And I look out.

˝What really happened? ˝ Luka pulls me out of my thoughts.

I take a breath. I will never be ready to talk about what happened a few hours ago.

"We arrived at the hotel, at the suite where we were setting up the restaurant, opened the champagne and danced in the moonlight overlooking the tower. ˝I feel as if my heart will betray me and tears well up in my eyes as I remember the beautiful events, remember how happy I was.

Will I ever be happy again in my life?

˝He just collapsed. And a big epileptic fit started. Despite all the medication, it wouldn't stop and it wouldn't stop and then I rang reception and I was about to give up and they came and took him away. ˝ I stopped again because I had to breathe, tears were running down my cheeks.