Never Broken

Chapter 2

Rhenn

I stood in shock. What did he mean gone? She wouldn't leave me. Would she? "Did you hear what I said girl? Go make dinner." He said angrily at me, I ran back to the kitchen scared to make him any angrier. I opened the cupboard and stared. I didn't know how to cook. I wasn't even 11 yet. But I have no choice. I pull out a bag of pasta and a jar of sauce. I have seen mom do this, I could work it out, couldn't I? Somehow our dinner came out edible and I didn't burn the kitchen down. Dad was quiet most of the night which was somehow scarier than him yelling. I made sure to disappear to my room after I cleaned up.

The next year continued the same, dad would come home drunk, pick a fight, sometimes get violent, sometimes not. I would make a small dinner and try to stay out of his way. I would escape to our tree a lot. I would leave small notes for Zeke when he wasn't there in a wooden box we had placed there. These were mostly just thoughts or things from the day I wanted to share with him. Things changed the year I turned 12. I had noticed my dad watching me in a different way. I knew my changing body was the probable reason for it. I had started cooking in large batches and freezing meal sized portions so I could further avoid him. I would spend most of the time walking around, going down to the river, or to our tree. I would try to time it that I would arrive back home after he had passed out. That was also the year I started high school. Zeke, being a year ahead of me, was already popular with a large group of friends. I was conditioned to keep to myself, so I was mostly alone. Due to our different circles we started to drift apart. We would still meet at the tree and talk, but as I got older it felt more awkward in a way. I would still leave notes for him, and he would do the same, but with his popularity and my constantly wandering to avoid my dad it was hard to keep our same level of closeness. It would only be another six months before my dad would come into my room at night. He would stink of alcohol, slurring his words and stumbling to my bed before falling onto it and pinning me to my mattress. He was saying sweet things at first, saying how big and pretty I was getting, as he would pat my hair before running his hand down the side of my face.

"So beautiful." He whispered, "you are a big girl now." He ran his thumb over my lips. I knew something was wrong. "You know what big girls do to show love?" he asked as he leaned forward to whisper in my ear. "Let me show you." His hands moved to the buttons on my pyjama top, undoing them.

"Daddy, please, no" I whimpered.

"Shhh, daddy will make it all right." He said as he stripped me bare. I squeezed my eyes shut hoping it would all stop. I screamed and started crying when he held me down and had his way. After it was over, he stood up, buckled his pants, and stumbled down the hall leaving my naked and curled in a tight ball sobbing. I spent the next day in bed while he was at work, before fleeing the house before he could come home. I spend hours just walking, tears slowly running down my cheek before finding myself at our tree where I curled up underneath and tried to disappear into the roots. I laid there for hours. I heard my dad yelling for me but couldn't make myself move. It was dark before I heard footsteps.

"Rhenn?" I heard a familiar voice say. I didn't move. I couldn't. I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Rhenn, what's happened?" Zeke asked. I looked up with listless, tear-stained eyes. He said no more but pulled me up and took me into his arms where I burst into tears. He rocked me back and forth "Shhh, it's okay, tell me what's wrong." He pleaded in a soft voice. But I couldn't. how could I put what happened into words? He just held me as I cried. "You wanna come over?" he offered. I knew I should go home, there would be hell to pay if I didn't, nevertheless I found myself nodding. As soon as we entered his house we headed straight to his room where I collapsed in his bed and he held me all night, calming me each time I woke crying.