That Kind of Cowboy (Ford Brothers Book 1)

Chapter Fifteen: Madison

   I have been home for about three hours now. I love the feeling of having a true home. Somewhere that I want to be, somewhere I belong. It is crazy how fast everything has happened since I moved back to this small town.

I have found the love of my life, and my children are happy, genuinely happy. We have a place and someone who will stick with us there all the difficulties of life. I know that he will not let us down. I know that Lucas blames himself for what happened involving Ethan, and I know he thinks he let us down. I do not think he let us down, and I do not blame him; I blame myself for putting myself in that situation.

If I would have let Lucas come with me instead of going alone and ending up with staples in my head. If mom did not call him, it could have been worse than staples. I just want this over with already.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Lucas asked, rubbing soothing circles up and down my arm.

We are cuddled up in our bed watching movies. I do not want to be up moving around, I am thankful that Lucas' mom, Lisa has the kids tonight. I do not know what I would have done without this family.

"Everything that has happened." I told him. Now would be the perfect time to tell Lucas my secret, but I was scared. What would he think of me after I tell him. I never wanted anyone to think of me as a bad mom. Especially not Lucas.

"It has been a lot, hasn't it?"

"It has and I am ready to talk. I have never told another person and I have never spoken it aloud. I am afraid it will make me look bad as a mom." I said as I glanced up at him.

"I will not judge; I will let you say what you need to say before I ask anything. I could never think of you as a bad mom. I see you with our kids and I can see how much you love and care for them. Nothing that he has put you through will make me think any differently." He replied, hugging me closer to him.

"Promise?" I whispered.

"I promise, cross my heart." He said, moving his hand over his heart.

"Okay, here goes nothing. I was pregnant a year after I had Sofia." I started to tell him. I could feel the tears building up in the back of my eyes. "He didn't want another kid, that we had too many as it was. I never saw it coming, I did not think he could kill my unborn child, I did not think he would do something like that." I felt the tears streaming down my face. Lucas holding me close to him as a let out a sob into his shirt.

"Breathe baby, once you get it all out, you will feel lighter. One less weight on your shoulders." He breathed into my hair, his calming tone helping me in my time of need.

"I do not want to tell you all the details, but I know I must tell you. They told me when I went into the hospital that it would be a miracle if I had another baby."

"Do the kids know anything about what happened? Do they know you were pregnant with their sibling?"

"No, they were too young to remember, and I did not show with that one, it was too early to show. I feel like it would have been another girl, and I miss her every day." I breathed out, calming myself to tell him the rest. "When he threw me down the stairs, and then deciding that was not enough, he kicked me in my stomach." I let a sob out into his shirt, while I tried to speak my deepest secret out into the open.

"And nothing happened to him?"

"Nope, they believed what he said every time. I tried to tell them, but Ethan would not let me get a word in. Plus, everyone knew him, and I wasn't from there, so I was an outcast."

"He will not get away with anything now. This stops here, I have friends too and he is messing around in the wrong town, with the wrong people."

"I just want it over with."