LoveHappy

49

Onika's POV
Counselling
September 22

Even though Beyoncé and I were seated in our counselling session, my mind was elsewhere. It almost always was.

Ming had tried to contact me once again and it bugged me because she had access to so many different numbers, so I was going to have to change mine soon. After where we left off, there was no way in hell I'd ever bend my back for her again. I had all of my own family in Houston, with the exceptions of Robyn and Lauren. No one else mattered to me.

Then there was the thing with Aubrey being in Houston, which turned out to be for a music scholarship programme he was doing. I still didn't like that though, so he wasn't off the hook. He could've gone to any other school with that bullshit.

Zamora and Titan had been ignoring each other for days. When I tried to talk to Zamora about it, she dismissed it and even yesterday she talked to Beyoncé about what was bothering her, and not me. I was offended, but at least she said something to one of her parents—that's what I was telling myself to cope.

"Nicki? Are you here with us?" Dr Parks got my attention.

I locked eyes with her for a brief second before nodding my head. "I am. Yes, I am."

"Great." She smiled. "Boundaries and trust."

That's all she said, letting the words marinate between us.

"Bey." Dr Parks opened the floor for Beyoncé to say something.

"Sometimes I feel like you don't trust me, Onika." She started. "You ask me questions that sound so specific that they become interrogative."

"If you have nothing to hide, then my questions shouldn't be anything more than what they are: questions." I said back. "Are you hiding anything?"

"No. Of course, I'm not." She shook her head.

"Are you lying right now?"

"No." This time she said it with bluntness. She made the word sound like a pinch. Yet, I didn't believe her.

When we were at Nilaya's basketball game, I noticed Catherine by the food vendors before letting Beyoncé go get us food. I didn't mention anything because there was nothing to mention. It was only when she took longer than the mental timer I'd set for her that it bothered me.

"Then there's nothing to discuss if we're both open and honest then." I spoke, crossing one leg over the other.

Dr Parks watched us from a distance. Her features not giving away what her thoughts prohibited her from saying.

"Why do you seem so distrusting, Nicki?" She questioned.

"I feel like she lies about little things that would be better off as truths." I shrugged. "Because ten times of nine, I know you're lying. Which doesn't do anything other than set us back."

"What do I lie about?"

"You're joking, right?" I voiced in utter disbelief. "I could name you instances between when we first met to now."

Sure it was insane to keep track of all the lies I'd been told, but that just how I raised myself. No matter how big, or small, it almost always stuck with me.

"You're making it seem like I lie any chance I get."

"Because you do. It's a joke to you." I said. "I can thankfully tell the difference between those jokey lies and the genuine lies, but there's a very thin line that divides them."

Beyoncé kind of just look at me. Like the words I was saying didn't make sense or something.

"When we were at Nilaya's game, you were talking to Catherine and I knew you were but you lied and said you spoke to nobody."