The Nighttime Fear

Chapter 4 - Adjusting

Author's Note: WARNING: Past child abuse (and a cliffhanger ;)

~ Rivana Rita

"You're weak," Krell snarls, stalking towards him. "You're a failure!"

He feels frozen. Trapped. "No."

"You have a duty!" his voice rings out though the darkness of Umbara. "You had orders! You're a part of something larger than yourself. Or are you too narrow-minded to see that?"

Krell used to say things like that. All the time. Always. "My duty is to my brothers," Hunter says, "To protect them first."

Krell scoffs, turning away. "And how are you doing at that?"

He's a failure. He is. He knows that. Doesn't want to think of it, though. He – he's made so many mistakes. Everything – everything that's happened was his fault. Hunter was supposed to protect them. He should have kept them together, kept them safe. He always fought to keep them together before, but...

He failed them. In every way he could have.

"You should have stopped them!" Krell snarls, and Hunter gasps as his hand wraps around Hunter's neck, crushing.

He might've hurt them before, but this is a first. First Hunter's dreamed of, anyway.

"You'll fail them, too," Krell hisses, "You're weak. You're soft." It's an echo of what Crosshair had said, and Hunter struggles in his grip, but Krell has always had a Wrecker-level strength.

He's going to die here, and –

No.

This isn't real.

Hunter killed him. He can't be here. This isn't real. This isn't real –

He forces himself awake, heart hammering.

Wrecker and Tech are nearby, their presences flowing softly into the Force. They're here. Omega's presence, too, is shining out brightly, unfamiliar, but still soothing.

No. It's – it's fine. He's fine. He's safe. There's... Krell is gone. Hunter killed him, even if it still hurts. They'd thought Krell actually... wanted them. Was going to take care of them. They trusted him.

That's what Hunter is afraid of, though. Failing them again. He already failed Crosshair, and... he can't go through that again. They can't afford to, no matter what it takes.

***

It's not overly surprising Wrecker goes all-out with setting up the gunner's mount as Omega's "room". It isn't really a room, but it's still homey, and admittedly, the ship looks better with it. Brighter. Safer.

(Crosshair's not here to see it, and Hunter misses that and him so badly he wants to cry at every waking moment. If he hears Wrecker crying sometimes, no one mentions it. Hunter doesn't mention it, at least.)

Omega brightens the moment she sees it, even if Wrecker is all awkward about the whole thing. "It's perfect," she breathes, looking around, gratitude flowing freely into the Force. Her heartbeat flutters, flickering. Hunter knows that feel from even before he became a Jedi – she's happy to be here with them. She loves them. She wants that. "Thank you, Wrecker."

He laughs a little awkwardly, turning away and rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh, it was nothin'."

Idly, Hunter can't help wondering when the last time someone thanked them for something was. Everything they've ever done has been... expected. No one really... took the time for that. Never had a reason to.