Constellations || R.Suna

Helix Nebula

✧*̥˚ Chapter One *̥˚✧

I always wanted to be a star. Like everything, stars are born and die every day. They take millions of years, they live out every second of their existence until the very last moment.

Then, they die and become part of the universe, leaving behind new lives in their final moments. Some die with big explosions, called a supernova. Some exhaust quietly and slowly.

I never viewed death as a bad thing. I never viewed it as sad. Besides, we all die someday.

I want to go out like a star. I want to explode and paint the sky in my existence.

Until then, i'll live out every moment of my existence. Even if it feels like i'm just going through the motions, like a machine.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm. My room was a nice space for me, i lived in this house with my brother. Astronomy posters and records covered my walls. My bed sheets, my ceiling, my carpet, everything was covered in stars.

A sigh of exhaustion left my throat, involuntarily. I stayed up too late at night. Which was the reason for my deep eye bags.

I dragged myself to the bathroom, brushing my teeth. I looked at myself in the mirror, but i didn't look for too long.

They said i ruined my natural beauty with these eye bags. Dark circles ruined my eyes and painted me as some ugly creature. I cover them with concealer.

That's the reason i live with my brother. He leaves for work at six in the morning, makes me breakfast i can't bring myself to eat, and he forgives me every time.

I close the window in my room, the birds singing their songs in the large pine tree near my room. It irks me to wake up to that noise, yet i never close the window.

I lock my room door, though no one's home. I pull my shirt off my head, stripping completely and putting on my school uniform.

I bring myself downstairs, the morning sun peeking out the big glass windows, the curtains not even attempting to keep it out.

It kind of irritates me, i'm not much of a morning person.

The shoes i wore were brand new. I was upset when he brought them home, but i smiled and pretended i didn't feel guilty.

My brother was too kind for his own good. When he finally moved out, i still clung to him like a leach, crying for him not to leave me. I cringe when i think of how annoying i must've been, yet he patted my head and told me to move in with him.

He understood my situation, and how scared i was without him. So he let me cling.

I shivered, shaking off the memory before grabbing my things and leaving.

My school was a short distance away, a ten minute walk at most. I liked the walk though, only when it was cold out.

The wind brushed my skin in a soft exchange, like a passing gaze.

School wasn't any better than my parents' house. People would stare at me in the hallways, always admiring but never talking to me.

I had two close friends, Suzuki Misa, and Watanabe Emiko. They were both too nice too.

I'd push them away over and over again, yet they'd come back. They'd seen me at my absolute worst, and been there through everything.

"Good morning Y/n!" Misa smiled.

"Good morning!" Emi echoed.

They both kissed me on the cheek, then engulfed me in a hug.

The physical affection made me smile a warm, genuine smile. "Good morning." I chuckled.