Paragomania

[5]

More people came and went, all telling you their stories. But you could barely focus on what they said. Their cheeks were concave, you could nearly see their bones on most of them. One man was missing an eye, a child walked with a limp, a woman was completely blind. There were more and more people with disabilities or visible injuries approaching you.

Now there were two possibilities. One, the Messengers of the Paragon was open to all people, with no judgement about disabilities. That would be awesome, if this was a completely allied and non-ableist commune. But you doubted that was the case.

Two, there was something much darker happening.

You gripped the arms of your chair as your chest tightened. Your shaking fingers dug into the wood of the chair and the fabric of your robes. You knew this feeling. It was all too familiar. Your breaths were becoming ragged and fast paced. This was an approaching anxiety attack.

As the hundredth or so person approached, gripping a hat in their hands, you jolted upward. Your father glanced at you with worry.

"I... I need a break..." Without another word, you darted away into the large house.

Ainsley sat at the table. A plate full of food sat in front of him, but he couldn't touch it. He had been watching you like a hawk. He already made a fool of himself, he needed to protect you. God, what was he supposed to do? When you darted away from your seat, he jumped to his feet, accidentally knocking over Kalaya's plate. She shot him a look, but took the food from his plate as he ran after you.

The door of the house opened quietly as he entered. He could hear a small sniffling from around the corner as he walked hesitantly. The lights of the building were turned down slightly. It was the only building in the commune that had electricity, and it had been barely put together by someone with not nearly enough training. But this was okay.

As he turned the corner, Ainsley saw what looked like a pile of purple clothing shivering in the corner. He knew instantly that it was you, hiding deep in your robes.

"Um... Pardon me, Paragon?" You froze, glancing out of your robes. He could see tears streaming down your face and his heart skipped a beat in his chest. Your eyes were watery, but they looked larger than before. When crying, you looked almost like a different person entirely. But you looked beautiful.

"What do you want?" Your voice dripped with pain. He was frozen just down the hall from your shaking huddle of robes.

"What is wrong?" You sniffled and hid your face in the purple once again.

"Just leave me alone." Ainsley approached step by step once again, hesitant like a man approaching a wild animal. He had been trained to physically protect you, but this was something he never thought would be an issue. He sat himself on the floor, a couple feet away from you.

"I'm just worried," he started quietly, "we're all worried." You peeked your big, watery eyes out of your purple robes, slightly redder and a bit puffier. "Can I help you at all?" You shook your head.

"You ever had an anxiety attack?" you murmured. He scooted closer to you just slightly.

"Yeah," he responded. "Many times." You held your hand out of your robes just slightly, showing him how badly you were shaking. "Oh, uh... When I have anxiety attacks, I throw up." You chuckled through your tears, barely able to breathe out of your nose but just enough to let out a small noise.

"Glad I didn't vomit in front of the whole compound." He smiled softly.

"I've done that before, ya know," he started. "I did this ceremony to prove I was strong enough, and I got so anxious just before it, that as I walked up to Father Carlisle, I threw up on the person holding the saucer." You let out a small snort., rubbing your nose on your robes. He smiled brightly, glad to hear your laugh. It was pretty.