Paragomania

[11]

Day 21 of living in your father's cult. 24 days until your 18th birthday.

You collapsed onto Ainsley's chest. This wasn't the first time the two of you hooked up, and it certainly wasn't the last. Gasping for air, you grabbed an old rag that was in the car to start trying to clean yourselves off. The car's windows were heavily fogged. You chuckled and started getting your clothes together while Ainsley just laid there on the floor, staring up at the ceiling.

"You know," he sighed, "This used to be my parents' car." You glanced at him.

"Really?" He nodded.

"Before we came to the commune. I had a different name. They did, too. We had last names and everything. I went to a school. Brie hadn't been born yet." You smiled and listened intently while getting dressed.

"Why did you join the commune?" He shrugged, spacing out at the ceiling.

"I don't know. One day, Mom and Dad just kinda packed up my stuff and took me away. I don't know where I'm actually from. I don't even remember my old name. I just remember I had one." You traced your fingers over the red splotches on his chest. You still hadn't talked about his scars.

"Come on," you sighed with a smile. "We have to get back soon." He nodded defeatedly and moved to get dressed. This was the worst part of every day. The end of your alone time.

You had been having sex pretty much everywhere you could without being caught. The cars, the woods, in town, in the kitchen in your big house. Everywhere. The thrill of almost being caught was intoxicating in its own way. For Ainsley, being caught could mean death. But it was worth the risk to him. Anything for your pleasure. The shameful excitement only added.

The two of you leapt from the car, only to find that it had begun snowing whilst you were messing around. You returned to the commune to find people huddling for warmth in the fields. You checked your phone.

It had been weeks, and there was still no evidence you could send to Officer Giamo. You were giving up already. Maybe it was just some mistake, some one-time thing. Whatever. As you walked through the snow-dusted compound, you checked in on people. Father Carlisle had commanded you to do this daily. You went door to door, checking on each family to give them hope and to make sure all was well.

Ainsley usually came along, following like a good dog. He was always your good dog.

When you had travelled through all the houses, and checked in on the field, that's when you saw it. A man stood alone, aimlessly trudging through the snow-covered walkways. His eyes looked empty, his mouth hung open slightly. If you didn't know any better, you would've thought he was a zombie. You approached him cautiously, you couldn't remember his name.

"Hey," you called out. "Hey, are you okay?" His dull eyes turned to you, his expression not changing. "What's your name?"

"Leonard," he grunted out, looking you up and down in surprise. You tilted your head to the side.

"What's wrong, Leonard?" His gaze turned to the ground.

"My sins are nothing that can be forgiven by the paragon."

After that ominous admission, he trudged onward. You looked at him worriedly. What the hell was that? You turned around to talk to Ainsley, only to see Father Carlisle standing tall a few feet behind you. His sudden presence made you jump.

"Paragon," he cooed, "No need to check in on the likes of Leonard. He is fighting demons that only he can fight." Your father draped an arm over your shoulder. "Come now, we have more pressing matters to tend to." You walked with him awkwardly.