Always by your side

Chapter 1

Kim

January 2025 - The Baeksang Arts Awards 2025

The last time I had the privilege of being nominated for The Baeksang Arts Awards was in 2017. Seven years later, after overcoming numerous obstacles, I have rediscovered my passion for acting thanks to her. As I sit among my co-stars, I notice some fidgeting nervously, unable to keep their knees from twitching or constantly adjusting their hair. I wish I could share in their excitement and experience the rush of adrenaline that would make me smile like crazy. My mind is consumed by the realization that I may have lost my chance with her due to my greediness—wanting it all: increase in popularity, money, deal and keep her in my life. 

" what are you thinking about "whispered Mi-na into my ears as she put her hair back in a stressful movement.

I ignore her.

She is one of the reasons I lost her.

I take my phone from my jacket's inside pocket, the screen lights up and I see her, the sun in my life, the reason I started in another drama after 2 years, and I wake up every morning to be a better person. and show her my lock screen. 

" her, and it will always be her" 

She should be there.

But she is not and it is my fault. 

I spent the last 2 days thinking about how to correct my mistake, and as I heard my name screamed by the host as I won the best actor of 2024, I knew what I had to do. 

6 months ago - August 2024 - 

Kim - Seoul 

The constant pressure to meet Korean beauty standards, always presenting a flawless image, drains me. Even after two decades in the entertainment industry, I'm still struggling to cope. I wish I had learned at the beginning of my career to brush off the hurtful comments from online critics who nitpick over every flaw in my appearance when I step outside. Despite what some might think, guys in the industry do pay attention to those remarks. The intense scrutiny from internet users sets impossibly high standards for male actors—to be flawless, act like gentlemen at all times, and maintain six-pack abs, and flawless skin.

And there's this stigma around admitting to feeling down as if success in South Korea is solely measured by financial wealth. While money can provide comfort, it doesn't guarantee happiness. Happiness comes from various sources, not just material possessions. Sometimes, I remember the adage 'the grass is always greener on the other side' and stop wanting what I do not have.  so here I am, lying on my couch in my $10 million penthouse, wondering how to spend my Friday night, determined not to lose myself in mindless phone scrolling as I fight against slipping back into a dark place. 

Minutes passed, and the ringtone of my phone broke through the silence of my darkened room. Without glancing at the caller ID, my gaze still fixed on the ceiling, I closed my eyes as I answered the phone. 

"Hi Kim, it's Bom," he says.

" Hi Bom" 

Silence lingers for a moment.

"We got you an advertisement to film in Montreal," Bom continues.

I open my eyes, intrigued.

"In Montreal?" I ask, feeling perplexed.

"Yes, the brand Delanotre wants to use the theme from your drama Goblin," Bom explains. "I know you've been wanting a break from the entertainment scene, but this could be a good opportunity to leave Seoul, and enjoy Canada after the advertising. You could take a one or two-month break there. If people ask, I'll tell them you're busy with a schedule in North America."

I ponder his words, considering the chance to step away from the hectic life in Seoul and explore a new place.

"Sounds like a plan," I reply, feeling a sense of excitement bubbling within me. "Let's do it. I'm ready for a change of scenery and some time away."

"Great!" Bom exclaims, his enthusiasm contagious. "I'll start making the arrangements. You'll love Montreal, Kim. It's a beautiful city."

I nod, feeling a spark of anticipation igniting within me. Perhaps this trip to Montreal is exactly what I need to rejuvenate my spirit and find a new perspective on life.

Laure - Montreal 

I never imagined I'd find myself Leading an IT department at the age of 32. As an introvert, shy by nature, and often grappling with imposter syndrome, it's been quite the journey. Overseeing more than 10 projects and leading a team of four delivery leads, I constantly strive to meet the demanding expectations of my VP, who always seems to want more from me. Yet, amidst the chaos, all I yearn for is an escape from this reality that's become my own.

If you had asked me a decade ago where I saw myself at 32, my answer would have been the polar opposite of my current reality. I had dreams of marrying by 28, starting a family before 30, and living in the suburbs in a large white house with a garden overlooking a serene lake. But  here I am in my condo, rented at an exorbitant price, with my two cats—who I consider my children, by the way. 

I arrived in Montreal eight years ago from France with my ex-fiancé, though I emphasize the "ex" as he effectively abandoned me within the first year of our arrival, citing stress as the reason. Looking back, warning signs were apparent even before our journey began; he neglected to conduct any research or preparations. Yet, fueled by the prospect of being the dutiful wife-to-be, I was determined to prove my worth.

Bullshit. 

Since that initial and final encounter with the man species, I chose to pour myself into my studies and later, my career. It was a pivotal moment, one seared into my memory, leaving behind scars that still ache with raw emotion. Some wounds may gradually mend with time, while others linger, a constant reminder of the pain etched into my heart.

As I commute to the office three times a week now, I feel overwhelmed with tasks and find little time to decompress. Finally arriving at the building, I'm met with the unfortunate news that the street where my workplace is located is closed for a film scene. 

"Excuse me," I implore the policeman, "may I enter the filming area? I work in the building."

"Can you show me your work ID?" the policeman requests. "Only authorized workers are permitted as the street is closed for filming."

Just my luck. Frustrated, I search through my bag for my ID, I rummage through my computer bag, frantically searching for the elusive pass. It seems I always forget where I put it.

"Ah, FOUND IT!" I rummage through my bag, finally locating my ID and thrusting it toward the policeman. "I work for FIsBik Bank," I explain hastily.

The policeman barely glances at my pass before waving me through. Classic Canada, trusting people way too much. I make my way up the stairs to my building, frantically searching for my phone. Frustration bubbles inside me as I come up empty-handed.

"Ah, YES, finally!" I exclaim as I grasp my phone, ready to unlock it, only to feel my body lurch backward.

"Oh no, FUCKKK!" I cry out, knowing I'm about to hit the floor at 8 AM in the morning. Seriously?!

As I brace myself for impact with my eyes tightly shut, I feel a hand on my back and a cool breath, mint flavour, against my skin, pressing me against a hard chest.

"I think you're okay now. You can open your eyes" a soft voice says, minty breath washing over me.

Can I just disappear under the floorboards now?

I'm mortified.