Leftover Baggage from Llanview

12

Dorian:

We sleep late Sunday morning and rise slowly, having a late lunch.

Sunday is fairly peaceful and Risa and I see Starr and Hope off at the airport.

Risa and I eat at an El Salvadorian place for dinner on the way home, then that night we drift off to sleep early.

I wake up early Monday morning just as it's getting light outside, feeling as if I had been very frightened, but am now calmer.

I'm also surprised to feel that my face is streaked with tears. I lay there for a while watching the shadows fade into a blue-gray in the autumn dawn.

My fear has mostly faded, but traces of anxiety still linger as I get up to get ready for work.

Looking in the mirror, I'm a tad dismayed to see faint gray shadows beneath my eyes along with lines wrinkling the middle of my forehead and my normally swarthy face quite pale.

After washing and after combing my hair, I do my best to conceal the undereye shadows and paleness, so I don't go into the chambers looking haunted.

There's not much I can do about the wrinkles, which have always appeared on and off since my teens and are growing deeper with age, so I comb my bangs straight down, so they aren't so noticeable.

Happy birthday, Dorian Cramer Lord, I remember with a wry smile as I finish getting ready.

Most of my actual birthday is quiet, thank goodness no chambers session today...I spend most of the day in the office.

I am touched when a small group of office workers enter my office with a small cheesecake with one candle singing happy birthday to me.

I also receive several lovely calls, messages and cards today, including my friend Ezra, who is traveling overseas on a diplomatic mission and from my former son-in-law Todd.

The rest of the week is a challenge, however because as I check my e-mails, I get glimpses of more social media posts from Llanview.

My receptionists must field a particularly nasty call from both Monroe and Natalie that I block.

I also see videos from Cord, Jessica, Roxy, Ford and John on the news blaming each other and me for the entire mess, although I try to tune them out.

Nora e-mails me to let me know that she won't be representing Viki after all, even though Cord and Monroe have threatened her...she actually has fled to New Jersey and is staying with a friend there.

I'm glad Nora has escaped and I once again am immensely relieved that I didn't give Tina any contact information.

Another deluge of nightmares plagues me for several nights in a row, which Risa sees...I know she's worried about me.

I know that she has been seeing the terrible things being said about me on social media from the Llanview clique.

Tina posts a particularly hateful video that I allegedly was her "friend," but that I supposedly "threw her under the bus in her time of need."

Natalie adds an equally cruel video disparaging both Tina and me, accusing Tina of "cavorting with that corrupt, evil, vile woman" and Tina of "bringing havoc on all of Llanview."

I also have a few anxiety attacks that I manage to keep under wraps in my office.

One afternoon, I think I see jail bars on my window and start shaking with tears filling my eyes.

Putting my head down on my desk, I struggle to get the feeling past the terrible sense of panic...a few quiet tears streak my face.

In one horrifying nightmare, I am in my old bedroom back in Llanview and am in bed with Joe.