Heart Beat | bang chan x F!reader

03. Move On

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Stuck on you - giveon

You wanted to move on now, find someone better, find someone to start a family with and erase him at all costs, the second he came back into your life even as a neighbor he reeked havoc in your heart, your heart swelled in pain, every heartbeat that took place after closing that door had your lungs intoxicated and stuck, you felt like you couldn't breathe.

The second you closed the door, you leaned against it and slid down onto the floor huddling, you're horrified, what happened... How did he move on so fast? Did you really mean nothing to him? What was the point of dating you for so many years and even proposing? Why would he do that? Was this on purpose? The impact of his sudden appearance had you dying from the inside even after all this time you've moved on.

He still squeezed your heart and threatened to puncture it and kill you without even telling you. The thoughts plagued your mind and your breathe hitched, your stared wide eyed at nothing as a tear slipped down your face, there was nothing you can do but stay away and avoid him, you clearly thought you moved on but you're stuck on him.

It took sometime for you to realize the world's moving on and it won't stop anytime soon so you get up wiping your tears. You plan on avoiding them much as possible.

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Jane on the other hand was smitten by you, the way you charmed her had her wanting to see you again even if it were a first time brief talk, the little girl liked the way you were so sweet and nice to her.

She kept telling Chan about you and complimenting you even though it was a short time seeing, you could hear the little girl form the other side of the wall, that lightened your heart for her a bit.

You realized you can't blame her for being born, she was just a kid. It was all his fault but you're not his anymore so you can't complain and it's been years, it would be so shameful to see you holding grudges, that would mean you hadn't moved on even after so many years.

They tell you to find someone else and move on completely but you just can't, it feels wrong even though it's right. You hate that you hate that he's happy without you. You start to go through the memory lane and wonder rif he ever even loved you or was it all just an act... He tore the heart out of you and killed you that night.

The night you'll never ever forget, the night that sometimes plays so rapidly in your head that you pass out. It's all because of him, ever since that one night, you've never been able to trust anyone completely, not your mom, your dad, your best friend, anyone...

Ever since taht night you follow your head over your heart, you have severe trust issues.

The feverish lust and love you both shared was torn to shreds that one night, nothing was ever the same.

You began to wonder if the way he suddenly kissed you head to toe was just an act, the way his kissed away your tears was just for you to shut up, the way he held your hands was just for you to stay with him for a reason... Maybe a reason even he didn't know why.

The day you left was the day you grew ill, tired, sick and fragile. Your mental state was horrible, you didn't leave your house, you didn't talk anyone, no one knew if you ate or not, all you could do was cry yourself to sleep or feel numb.

But gradually you picked up the pieces and put them back together despite one of the pieces being missing, you don't know what it was... Maybe the heart he stole and broke