Can't let go (Zanemau fanfic)

Chapter III

-Aphmau's house at night, around 3 am.-

Aphmau was sound asleep, when she was awaken by Celestia's whimpers.

Aphmau: *whispering* "Celestia, what's wrong?"

Celestia walked to the door and started scratching it.

Aphmau: "Oh you want to go outside?" *Gets up and searches for her clothes*

"Alright girl, let's go."

-Outside, on the street.-

Aphmau was taking in the quietness of the town, only sound being Celestia and her own footsteps. Air was a bit colder than she thought, but it didn't bother her much. As she passed by a certain house, she smiled when a small light was turned on.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zane didn't really mind being outside. He hated the sun with a burning passion and was always alert not to catch a cold or do too much physical work. That included walking or running. But he liked nature. Not like people who had their own garden or had a lot of pets. He mostly didn't dislike animals, but he knew animals disliked him. Mostly. Zane liked the feel of breathing when he was around nature, like forests and sometimes even parks. It made him have a little moment to forget everything, to reset his mind, to calm. In nature, he could get away from his work, his bills, his VERY annoying brother living literally 100 steps away from him, an the lack of everything in his life. Zane always felt like something was missing.

Zane disliked all other people besides Aphmau on the street. He could bare Aaron but the rest were just unbareable. Too loud, too pushy, too emotional, too much talking or whatever. But the barbeque evenings seemed nice. And the snowfights. And decorating together for holidays. Aphmau always invited him when she could, but Zane declined. More and more often he would catch himself wishing he didn't. Because if everything else about those social things would be crap, atleast Aph would be there.

"The flowers would bloom and sing to the wind,

Who conducted and moved them through the spring,

But the water couldn't bloom, couldn't sing.

The water never could respond to the wind."

Zane (thinking): "Irene this is so cheesy. But it's already written down, so I can't throw it away. Maybe if I pour enough words into silly little poems, I can actually talk to people normally. Not that I want to. Or maybe I... Ugh- stupid brain, stupid feelings!"

Zane was sitting beside a pond, looking at the words he had written down. His lunch break was almost over, so he needed to get back into the cafe. He thanked the time for sparing him from himself. 

He had been on this job for only 2 weeks, but he felt like he was going to change his it again soon. This day itself was already too long and boring. But what else should he do?

He sighed as he walked up to the cafe counter. He couldn't finish his thought because of an energetic group of girls who walked in. Zane already disliked their happy energy, but tried not to judge them based on their looks or behavior. "As Aph says... be... nice." But he couldn't really ignore their high mood, because his was everything else but a match.

He took the orders without any inconviniences, thankfully, but while making one of the drinks, he couldn't stop himself from thinking of a certain someone. He felt embarrasment because he couldn't focus, and didn't realise he had made a drawing of a pony on one of the lattes. Or at least it looked kind of like a pony. He smirked, and rang up the order, hoping noone would realise it was made by him. "Maybe I don't hate this job that much." He thought.

A minute later, he saw how the girl whose order he made reacted to the art piece and took a picture of it. Her friends looked in his direction and Zane didn't dare look in their direction the rest of the time they where in the cafe. He didn't want to go close to the cash register or the pick-up point in fear they'd make small talk with him. He did his part, he was nice and didn't judge them, like Aph taught him, but he was NOT talking. Or making eye-contact. "That's enough of social interaction for me today!"

As his shift had ended, he walked out of the cafe and headed towards his car. But the girls from earlier where walking nearby. Zane started immediatelly sweating.

"Don't look don't look don't look don't look don't look don't look don't look--"

"Hey! You're the guy who made my coffee with that cute picture!"

Pretend you can't hear them. Just get to the car. You are blind and deaf.

"Hey, what's your name?"

Why me. Okay Zane. Act cool, say a few words and then walk away. Easy. Eeeeaaaaasyyyyy.

Zane: "H-hi? A-are you talking to me?" of course she is you stupid!!!

Random girl: "Hi, yes, you! You made my coffee! You seemed so nice, and I was wondering... if I... could get your number?"

What in the Irene's name? My... number?

Zane: "S-sure. It's (insert phone number)."

Random girl: "T-thanks!" She blushes. "So, what's your name? I'm Rose."

"Just walk away. Even better, run!!! I don't want to talk to a girl-- woman-- thingy!!"

Zane: "Uhh... I'm Zane."

Rose: "Nice to meet you Zane! Would you like to grab a coffee or something sometime?"

Zane: "Okay." Please kill me. Or get me out of here.

Rose: "Cool! I'll call you, or text you! Later!" She walks back to her group, who are giggling.

Zane: "Oh my Irene. What did I just witness? Did- did she just- ask me out?

Oh hell no. I need to tell Aphmau. Wait. I can't tell Aphmau. Then she'll think this is the girl I like and will never leave me alooo- wait. That's perfect! I'll tell her I need to get rid of this girl, while being... nice. She will not suspect a thing!"

Zane sat in his car and started driving without looking back, not wanting to think of the interactions he had to go through in just one afternoon. After around 20 minutes of driving, he arrived at the familiar street. Thankfully, none of Aph's annoying friends were around, so Zane could peacefully get out of his car, and into his house to think over his life choices.

"This is really stupid, and if someone I know finds this, I'm so dead.

Future me. I hope you figure out or at least start figuring out how to deal with feelings. I hate the feeling when they hold hands. I hate myself for not being sure, and I hate myself for loving someone, who is firstly, out of my league, and secondly, in a RELATIONSHIP. If it is love. If it's not, then I will accidentally break someone's heart. Or my own."

End of chapter 3

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It has been quite a while, but I will keep going. I'm just still not sure what I'm doing :))). Any kind of feedback will be appreciated.

(Also, Mystreet season 7? Mystreet comeback? We made it!!!!)

Characters (mostly) belong to Aphmau, much love to her. I will make OC's for plot reasons but hopefully I won't need to as much.