If we had known. (If he had been with me alt ending)

As he left. (1)

Autumns pov:

After Finny left, I felt empty. Like I piece of me was leaving with him, just floating away. I wanted to pull him back into my arms, where it was safe, with me. But I couldn't, not yet.
Finny waved to me before starting the engine, I tried not to tear up, seeing my heart walk away from me.

And that, was the last time I ever saw him. - Well almost.

-7 hours later-

I've been waiting for hours. I'm worried sick. Is he coming back? Did he change his mind? A million thoughts are swirling through my head, worry, sadness, and confusion all right in front of me. As if it is waiting to be let go.

I hear a knock on the door. "Finny?" I say, thinking that he is going to hug me tightly, though that doesn't happen. It's someone I wouldn't have guessed to come up to my room in the middle of the day. It's my mom.

"Oh Honey..." she says in a sympathetic tone. My smile instantly falls, and I look up to her, her entire face smothered in tears. "We need to have a talk." "Mom I'm kinda waiting for someone, can we do this later?" I say in an eager tone, hoping Finny will peek through the darkness in the halls. Though again, he never does.
"About that..." she sits on my bed, like I will need support for something. For what? I'm fine. "It's Finny." My heart drops, all the breath I had, is now gone.

"W-what..?" I manage to stutter out. "Something happened Autumn..." and after that, there isn't much I can remember. All I hear, see and feel, is Finny. Did he get pulled over, is he missing?
But most importantly...is he alive?

-2 hours later-

I'm currently in the hospital waiting room. It's cold, hostile, and annoying - everything Finny isn't.
My mom is holding my hand. She is squeezing it so hard I think she may have broken my finger.
But that isn't Important, Finny is.
All we know is - 'Finny crashed in a street pole' - that's it.
I've been worried sick, feeling like I might actually throw up.

Something that worried me almost more than Finny, is aunt Angelina. She isn't here. And I know for a fact that Finny and her weren't together, because she was with me, in my house, watching tv while I waited for Finny.
I have been searching for her everywhere, wanting to see at least a glimpse of her face, but no, nothing. Absolutely nothing.
My mom has called her 26 times and texted her 51 times, yet still no answer.

Then the terrible thoughts arrive again, except this time, worse -
'Is Finny dead? Has aunt Angelina done something to herself? Am I going to have to live without some of the people I love most in this world?' -
I know worrying does nothing, but it takes my mind off the worst, my mom. If Finny dies, then aunt Angelina will most likely k*ll Herself, and then my mom. Which leaves me, all alone, without my boyfriends, my aunt, or my mom. All alo- 'stop!' I shout at myself. 'You can't think like that, you can't do this to yourself'. But my thoughts are interrupted when my mom says my name. "Autumn?" I snap out of my daze, looking her straight in the eyes. "Hmm?" I say confused.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to get you a snack to eat?" She asks in a sympathetic tone. "No, I'm fine."
"Honey, really?" She says, seeming to be more concerned than before. "Yes, can I just...sit here?" I ask, trying to lean the conversation into another direction. "S-sure honey, if that's what you want..."
She wrapped her arms around my shoulder and pulls me into her chest. That's when I break. - I fall into tears, hanging onto her for dear life. I keep thinking 'this can't be real, is a dream right? Wake up! I said wake up!'
I pick myself hard, wanting this all to be over and to be in Finnys arms, kissing him, holding him, hugging him. - but I can't, at least not yet.
My mind swings from sadness to anger, thinking - 'if he had been with me this would have never happened' or 'I can't live without him'. - all words that as much as I want to say them, won't help, might even make it worse.

After a couple minutes I decide to take a nap, I wanna be able to give Finny my complete attention when I see him.

-3 hours later-

I wake up. I feel a mix of an emotions? But mostly, confusion. 'How long have I been asleep? Is Finny awake???' But it all snaps back to me when I see me mom, sitting alongside me, scrolling in her phone.
Though I now it has only been 6 hours, it feels like an eternity. Waiting, waiting, and more waiting.
I see family after family get an update, most of them happy and jumping for joy - which means that person is okay. - but some just sob. And it isn't pretty.
I see a couple nurses approach us, and I get extremely nervous, thinking the worst - 'time of death' or 'lost all memory' - swirling through my head.
Then one of the nurses steps right in front of me. "Are you the family of Phineas Smith?" She asks with a concerned face.
"Yes" I say, even though we aren't blood, he is my best friend and now my boyfriend.

"Come with us."

{A/N: thanks for reading! When I read the book if he had been with me, I sobbed uncontrollably. I went searching throughout numerous pages and websites, trying to this some sort of happy or even just alternate ending for the story. But I found none: so I decided to write this; for people like me who wanted something more...alive}