If we had known. (If he had been with me alt ending)

My almost ending. (4)

*{DISCLAIMER: talks of suicidal thoughts and actions, pregnancy, death, sexual references and sexual situations}*

VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED.

Autumns pov:

My eyes slowly flutter open, and I let myself adjust to the sunlight.
Millions of things are still in my mind;
Where am I?
Am I dead?
Is Finny okay?
All of the thoughts are cut off by an older female voice.

"Ms. Davis? Are you awake?" She asks, taking my vitals. At first I don't answer, scared that it is a trap. But as I realize where I am, I am instantly confused. I'm in a hospital.

"Ms. Davis?" The words instantly snap me out of my thoughts. "Hm..?" I say in a ragged tone. "Do you know where you are Ms. Davis?". I shake my head, but I regret it once I feel nausea crawl up my spine. "Ms. Davis you are at Pineville general hospital."
And then it all clicks. The s*icide attempt, the kitchen, Finny..

All I manage to mutter out is - "How am I alive?" And In return I get a judgy stare from the nurse along with this, "you didn't cut deep enough to die of blood loss." Oh. "We unfortunately couldn't do an MRI because of the pregnancy." No, I'm imagining what she just said. Right?

"Huh..?" I look at her, shook written all over my face. "Were you not aware of the pregnancy? Because the test is hospital policy." Stop. Make it all stop.
I feel sick to my stomach.
This can NOT be happening.
This can NOT be real.
Yet it is, it all is.
"H-how far along am I..?" I stutter out.
About 4-6 weeks, you're pretty early."

Finny. All I can think about is Finny.
What would Finny do?
Finny would never forgive me if I tried again knowing I was pregnant, especially when it's his baby. But Finny isn't here to tell me that.
A part of my brain is saying -
'Keep it! Finny may never wake up, this is your chance!'
And the other says -
'It doesn't matter what Finny wants, he's gone. Just end it all.'

The two sides are at war when I think -
'I'm going to keep this baby, for Finny, and for me.'
"Nurse..." I look down at her badge to get her name. "-...Linda?" Silence. Then foot steps, many, many footsteps.
"Autumn...?" Mom.
"Momma..?" She appears from behind the door and runs to me, hugging me so tightly I've lost all my breath. "Mom. Can't. Breath."
"Sorry sweetie. Are you okay?"

"D-Did they tell you...?" I say, concerned of what my mom's possible reaction will be. "Yeah honey...what do you want to do?"
And that stumps me, because I don't know what I want to do, my mind is blank
"Is Finny okay?" I ask, ignoring her previous question. "Wha-...yeah honey, he moved his fingers a little this morning, so not brain dead." She says with a smile on her face, tho it is a concerned one.

"D-does aunt Angelina know about...about the a-um..." I stutter, struggling to finish my sentence. "Yeah, after the hospital called me, they call her." She looks at me confused
"But w-why would you ever try to kill yourself honey...?"

Hearing her say the actual words hurt, and I stare blankly at the floor. "Did you know you were in pregnant when you-" I interrupt her immediately, "no! I had literally no idea that...this..." I hold my small, barely visible bump.

-3 days later-

I've been discharged from the hospital. The nurses gave me a prescription for some prenatal vitamins.
I know the baby should be my top priority, but it isn't.
Finny is.

I've been asking my mom right and left if I can see Finny, but she always says that 'I need to get rest' or 'When the time is right sweetie.'
I don't care for either. So I'm gonna take this into my hands.
When I tried to (commit), I slit my wrists, so I'm bound to be sore. Which long term, means I can't drive for a while. - not that I really can anyway.

I called an Uber to the hospital.
The guy looks like he's a sleazy, drunk guy. But I don't really care. I only care about him.
Finny. I only care about Finny.

Once the Uber drops me off, I head to the entrance of the hospital.
-"PineVille General Hospital"-
I give the receptionist my ID, I explain to her that I am carrying the patients child, which makes me family.
The nurse, hesitantly, leads me to Finnys room.

That when I see him, that's when I see Finny.
My Finny, my love, the father of my child.
Finny.

I sit next to his bed.
He is just lying there.
Silent.
I've asked the nurse of any updates, and that's when she informed me that they did some 'scan?'. She told me that after some testing, they had concluded that he is temporarily in a state of what they call: 'locked-in syndrome'
Apparently it means that he is semi/fully conscious, but can't move. - well anything but his eyes. And he hasn't done much of that.

I softly place his hand on my stomach.
Even if I might be in shock of this pregnancy, it doesn't mean I'm not happy about it.

And for once, I feel...okay.
Not 'overjoyed', but it's okay.

I'm glad that my 'almost ending', was exactly that.
Almost.

{A/N: Thank you guys for reading! I know that most of these chapters are short, but I am really trying hard to keep up. If anyone has any suggestions, critiques, or advice, feel free to comment. - as well if you have a request for this series, others, and more!}