The Secret Lover (L'amante segreto)

Who really was Julia?

April 6th

“I still feel your breath on me. That crazy desire to blow your nose. Your sweet lips touch mine. And I bite them gently. Squinting my eyes and hoping that moments like this... will return. Still in time. Until life tells us it's too late to do it again. But never to dream about them. Never to dream about them. I miss you Julia, I miss your smile and your tears. Those moments that never end. I wish I could scream to the world how much I love you soon, but I realize you need time. And I can't deny it to you. But look around you, Julia. I really love you, the man next to you doesn't really love you. Otherwise he would stop drinking immediately. A man who behaves this way does not want your happiness, but his ruin. And his downfall will be yours too. Choose a side, Julia. Choose between good and evil. Choose whether to continue suffering or start a new life with me, Julia. Dreaming with me won't cost you anything. We will live a life without fear, without detachment. And when there are obstacles to overcome we will overcome them together. Every time they want to hurt you they will have to pass over my body first. The gifts of tenderness that I will give you. I can't bring you the moon Julia, but I will give you a star. I can't tell you I love you if you don't want it. But if it turns out as I hope, I'm ready to tell you forever. There are times in life, when you have to make choices you don't want, for people you don't want. Other times you have to get carried away with decisions that are ultimately for your own good. Many times however, you have to cash in and look forward. But if you are with me, Julia, it will be different. I can't promise you we won't fall. But I can assure you that when we get up there will be the most beautiful sunset. I miss you, Julia. I miss you a lot."

His gaze fixed on the paper. The immobile limbs. And the heart is calm. The heartbeats were slow and controlled. But his soul and mind were in a storm. The pain of Julia's loss was faced by a lover who was extremely jealous of their relationship. A man who had plagiarized her. Plagiarized until she is convinced of David's guilt. And maybe he wasn't entirely wrong. But that didn't justify his behavior. And his words.
He reread the letter imagining the figure of the man. She imagined him tall and intelligent, but without scruples, morals and ethics. He clenched his fists tightly and narrowed his eyes.
They rang. He opened the door and Mick greeted him, handing him a blank file. He left immediately afterwards, advising him not to mention it to anyone.
There was a light breeze outside and the wind carried the leaves with clever delicacy.
He sat down in the chair and opened the file.

The wind outside seemed to have calmed down. David leafed through a few pages. The first reported several photos of Julia's body on the morgue counter. The sinuous and well-structured shapes, the fingernails and toenails cared for with extreme attention. The sweet and symmetrical face, the curly red hair. David swallowed and felt a sense of sadness. He remembered those moments on the phone, when Mick called him to tell him what had happened. Sitting in front of the editor talking. The calm calm. Then the uncertainty and subsequently the agitation, the confusion. Stomach aching, heart pounding, temples throbbing with ferocious speed. The calm turned into a storm. The scenario, calm and calm, turned into a shocking nightmare. Sudden and inexplicable. He thought back to the morgue door, the reluctance to enter, dictated by unbridled fear. When he entered, what appeared before his eyes was the horrendous spectacle that enveloped him in a thousand emotions. After crying, screaming and struggling, he tearfully recognized the body. He felt he was dead in his soul.

The funeral was a riot of tears and hugs. Faces tense with pain paraded from the church to the cemetery, where David said his final farewell to his beloved.
The report spoke of drowning. The lake was searched far and wide. According to a note from the county sheriff's office, Julia must have ventured dangerously into the lake to dive in and never come back up again. The body was then involuntarily fished out with a large net by the owner of a small boat, who had cut the long rope around his neck and tied it to a large boulder. David struggled to accept this initially, and his relationship with alcohol worsened day by day.