Healed by You

Chapter 25

Letting go is never an easy thing...No matter how many times you rehearsed it...no matter how many times you played it in your head it never goes as planned and always does it a bit harder than you thought...

And that that is why I am scared...
I'm scared of what can happen... I'm scared of being alone scared of not having someone to run towards...someone to listen... someone to talk to

Sometimes you think you know a person you think they are on your side but deep down they are not they make you feel extremely terrible

They come
They lie
They cheat
And they leave

Every word every action every memory of that person leaves an unforgettable imprint on your heart that you develop a fear of many things

And I developed a big fear of the small word trust...

I can't trust action because actions are fake

And words..

Words are just another way of covering up the truth with lies..

That's what happened to me...

Isn't it said that sometimes bad things happen to good people....Yes that's true I'm not saying that I'm good but did I deserve what I got

I don't know...

All I know is we can't control everything we go through If it's yours somewhere down the line it will return to you and if not you just have to move with what you have...

Simple

But Baba wants me to settle down again...he says he can't see me all alone sulking in pain and to be honest it's him because of whom I am alive today or else I would have killed myself way before

That pain of cheat was shaking my soul

But I have him to look after so I locked up my every tear and every cry in my heart and caged it with my hard emotions that shall never be broken

Today he asked me something that I'm helpless to do so because I don't want to repeat my mistake...

I don't want to trust again...

Because I am scared

I'm scared of starting over again... I'm scared of putting and pouring myself into someone new again

Because I think I don't deserve better as someone made me believe that I don't deserve more in my life...

I don't deserve

And that's what the truth is...

*********

For the love and happiness of the person who matters the most to you...you must make a mistake

That's what I am going to do...

Marrying a stranger again...

Not exactly a stranger

She is Savita Kaki's daughter ...

Baba chose a 20-year-old girl for me

What's wrong with him??

But I had no choice

The way Baba cried and pleased me with his joined hands is something I couldn't take

The pain and longing in his eyes is something I cannot forget all my life

I have caused him so much trouble and can't afford for more to come his way ...if his happiness lies in this marriage then I am ready for it..

I am ready to marry Sona

The same little Sona in a red frock with two piggy tails tied with matching red ribbons running all around the factory with her doll now wearing a red saree without garland in her hands will be marrying me...

How weird it sounds

But it's all destiny...

Whatever is planned by destiny is bound to happen no matter what

She grew up in front of me...

Savita Kaki's husband was a heavy drunkard and keeping up a little Sona at home was something she couldn't afford so she used to carry her to the factory

The whole day she used to play around eat and sleep in the factory itself...she was so chubby back then and as Baba had no daughter he used to adore her a lot

Baba used to buy toys for her

Many times I tried being a friend to her but probably she was scared of me as I wasn't regular to the factory and unlike Baba, I was a stranger to her...

Or maybe I was too old to be her friend

Anyways...

This way my parents used her as their daughter for which Kaki has been always grateful

I and Baba got her admission to the school and then gradually her factory time reduced

Back then I was busy with my college so couldn't visit the factory as before but I would make sure to at least visit on Sundays the little girl who used to keep running and playing with doll was now sitting in a small corner doing her homework sincerely...

Baba made sure to help Kaki in her daughter's upbringing in every possible way he can

I could not help her much as I had to leave my hometown for further studies and lost minimal contact with her

This is how I witnessed her childhood

The last I heard about her from Kaki was regarding her 12th exams the same period when I was getting married to Asha...

Kaki told me how brilliant she is doing in academics and how she is financially helping her with some part-time job

That girl has just grown up like her mother

Hardworking with self-esteem

But what happened to her self-esteem today...

Why is she marrying me??

She has a bright future ahead...

Why is she ruining it with this marriage??

Because of the favor we did to her family??

If yea then she is being stupid

Though their hearts are full of gratefulness towards us she can't just agree silly terms of Baba

Or does she have any other motive behind this marriage like Asha

No never...

She is not the kind of person who can be bought with money...

But she did say yes to this marriage because of only money...

I don't know...I am confused

All I know is this girl is not bad but is too delicate to withstand a big storm like me...

I am not only a victim of injustice but also have been stabbed in my back

I am a wounded beast with a fire burning within my soul

I am scared that this fire won't burn any innocent...especially Sona

The heart is bleeding in the dark
As my ugly past has spewed up its spark
Though I left it behind
Will I be able to erase my character mark

I can't speak out pain as I lost my zeal
Isn't there a way to heal
This thorn piercing in my heart
Is a big deal

I blindly trusted and made a mistake
That let my world break
There is a fire burning in my heart
But have to put out for my loved ones sake