Why Don't I Hate You...

3

••• flashback 3 years ago •••

malia's pov.

The night before was wonderful. I haven't had so much joy talking to someone in so long. I had just met Shohei and, as cheesy as this sounds, it's like I've known him for forever. He made me laugh like crazy, had me smiling from ear to ear, and I was just so comfortable with him. We had only talked for three hours yet somehow we managed to tell our whole life stories to each other. It just felt so right with him.

Not the mention, the sex was really good too!

I woke up the next morning with excitement. The memories from last night were still fresh in my mind. I roll over to my other side to greet him good morning but no one is there. I sit up looking around my room confused. I put some clothes on and look around my apartment. I noticed that all his stuff was gone. His clothes weren't on my floor anymore and his shoes weren't by the door.

He left me.

My heart starts pounding and I can feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. Soon my vision goes blurry and the hot tears roll down my face. I let a couple fall before I quickly wipe them away.

I go back to my room and go on my phone. A part of me hoped that he left a text message or something explaining why he left. But nothing. There was nothing. No note, no message, he didn't even leave any sign that he was at my place.

I place my phone down on my nightstand and lay back in bed. I turn on my TV and turn on something random. I start to zone out during the show. So many questions and thoughts were going through my head right now.

Why did he leave me? Is something wrong with him? Why didn't he call me? Or even text me? Why?

In the midst of my thoughts, I hear my phone buzzing. I pick it up and see that a random number texted me.

•• messages ••

(xxx) xxx - xxxx
hi malia
can we talk

malia
who is this???

(xxx) xxx - xxxx
it's shohei

malia
oh
what do you want to talk about

shohei
i just want to talk
explain myself

malia
i don't want to talk to you

shohei
please can we talk

malia
fine

shohei
thank you
when and where do you want to meet

malia
my place in an hour

shohei
ok see you later

•• messages ••

I throw my phone on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I sigh and get up to start getting ready.

I can't believe I agreed to talk to him. I should've just asked him to text it all to me. Even though he's coming here to explain himself, I'm still upset about him leaving me. I'm still mad at him. But I do still want an explanation...

-

I finally finished getting ready and looked myself in the mirror. Why did I try so hard to look good for a guy that I'm mad at right now? I'm disappointed in myself.

I hear my phone buzz on my table and Shohei's name pops up on my screen. It said that he was gonna be at my place in 5 minutes. I walk around my place and start cleaning it more even though it was already pretty clean. I think I'm a stress cleaner.

*ding dong*

Fuck he's here. I walk to door and take a deep breath. I open it up and there he is. He smile and waves a little. I just give him a close mouthed smile and let him in.

I take in his appearance and realize he tried with his looks a little too. Fuck. He looks so good. He's not even wearing anything super crazy, why am I so attracted to him right now? Maybe it's his t-shirt that's a little tight so it really shows off his muscular figure. Or maybe it's his styled hair. Or maybe it's the cologne he's wearing that smells really good. Doesn't matter what it is, it's working for him.

We both sit down on the chairs at my island and stay quiet. I don't know what to stay to him. I don't want to start the conversation with "so are you gonna explain yourself or what" but I also don't want to be like "so, how's it going?"

"You want anything to drink," I asked.

really? i couldn't come up with anything better to say?

"No thank you. So, uh- how are you?"

I roll my eyes and say, "Oh my god. Let's just get straight to the point. Start talking."

He sighs and looks down. He looks back up at me and I could tell there was a little bit of sorrow in his eyes. I felt bad for a second.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I just came over here to explain myself. To explain why... I left you this morning."

he pauses

"Go on."

"If I'm being honest, I don't know why I left. I woke up this morning and I was so happy. I had so much fun. And all day I've been thinking about last night. I haven't experienced that much joy in talking to someone in a long time. When I woke up, you were still asleep. I went to go use the bathroom and... I don't know. When I walked out and saw you sleeping so peacefully on the bed, I smiled. I thought you looked so cute. But something- something kinda just clicked inside of me. Something just told me to leave. So, I did. I didn't want to feel leave but for some reason I felt like I had to. I really want to give you a real explanation why I left but I just can't. I'm so sorry. Please, can you forgive me?"

I stare at him. I'm not mad anymore. I'm not sad. I'm just confused. I don't exactly know what to feel right now. I don't even know if I believe him. I want to so badly. But this just sounds so stupid.

"Shohei. I want to believe you. I really do. But I really hope you understand how unbelievable this sounds."

"I get it. I kinda expected that from you. But, I'll do anything to make it up to you. I promise."

"Like what?"

"I'll take you out to dinner. We can go to an amusement park together. Fuck. I'll take you on a vacation for all I care. Please, I just want you to trust me again."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because I actually like you. I enjoyed talking to you. I'm also somewhat interested in you."

That last sentence causes me to blush. Fuck.

"Fine. I'll let you make it up to me. But you can decide. I don't really like making decisions."

I see his eyes light up and a big smile appears on his face. I can't help but start smiling too.