DISCLAIMER:
Please remember that my reviews are just my takes on things, you do not have to take my advice at all if you don't feel it fits the essence of your story. After all, I am only reading a few chapters, other readers might have different takes.
Reverie's Review:
The premise of this was intriguing, from the start I was drawn in by the Charlie's Angelesque vibe that the book markets itself as. The description is a rather simple but effective hook I was intrigued to see how it would be executed. Three beautiful women are criminals who con rich men out of their money. That being said this is another work that effectively "does what it says on the tin" so to speak. I am always down to read work about powerful women who are capable and can get things done.
I liked that you just dropped the reader into the world with minimal exposition, this usually doesn't work in most stories as more complex worlds require some more buildup to be more effective. This works well for your work as it allows the reader to just begin with the story and be hooked from the get-go. That being said, I would say that you need to draw out the tension in the work more.
These characters commit several crimes that sort of blur into one another as they are portrayed as somewhat inconsequential. An example of this would be the bomb in chapter one which is not referenced again even though it's a bomb. You set up a good supply of proverbial bullets to use in Chekov's Gun but we don't see you use any of them. Now I may be wrong as I've just read the first seven chapters, but in general, it would be good practice to do so as it would help build and break tension more powerfully. A thing that can help with this is turning your first chapter into a prologue and condensing it to fit a more appropriate word count for this type of work.
In general, the main issue with this work is the pacing, you need to slow it down and drag it out. Using cliffhangers is a great way to keep readers engaged but don't be afraid to take them on a journey alongside your characters. This applies to the relationships between your characters as well, platonic, romantic, and sexual. While it is understandable that people can hit it off from the first meeting or first few ones I would say it is unlikely that it happens to such a powerful extent so quickly, especially considering that your characters are criminals who are clever and therefore less likely to just throw themselves headfirst into a romance. This might be my take but it did break the suspension of disbelief. I know it's tempting to cut to the chase but you must resist for the sake of the reader and the plot. Plus I find that it's so much more satisfying to write that one scene that is the tipping point when I, myself, have been waiting to write it for so long. TLDR you need to give more gravitas to your major plot points and crime happenings. Get the readers' blood pumping and keep it like that with adrenaline and tension, it would make for a more hooked reader base.
Onto the more technical, your grammar and structuring were sound, I would recommend using more contractions in your dialogue since, when speaking, many would prefer to abbreviate things and it would flow more naturally due to how language works in the colloquial sense. A secondary point would be to spell out numbers less than 100, I say this to a lot of writers as it's a pet peeve of mine but it's also a convention for most texts and would just make your work look more polished. Another factor that might help with the structuring, as well as tension building, would be to use shorter sentences that are more punchy for your action lines. Essentially the way to implement this is that whenever something is going down in the physical sense you can drag readers along with your pacing by using short, snappy sentences and quick actions. This gets the adrenaline up and would pull your readers into the work further. The reverse can be done for scenes where there is high tension but is slower moving, you can use longer sentences to drag out the moment and keep your reader's attention pulled towards specific instances. Play around with the form a little and see what works for you! Experimentation is the best way to discover what works, at least in my opinion that is.
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