He Loves Me... She Loves Me Not

Chapter Five

I thought about whether my initial desire for a simple friendship might be giving way to something more intricate and profound. The idea that he might have a genuine interest in not just bridging our cultural differences but also in understanding and immersing himself in my family's way of life stirred an unanticipated sense of appreciation within me.
 
Despite my inner conflict and reluctance to fully embrace these burgeoning feelings, I couldn't deny the significance of these subtle shifts in our relationship. It was as if we were on the brink of a new chapter, one that held the promise of growth, understanding, and the potential for something far beyond the casual friendship I had originally envisioned with him.
 
Meanwhile, during the 'pamamanhikan', everyone was thoroughly enjoying themselves—chatting, sipping drinks, and eagerly anticipating the karaoke night, a highlight of the event. I was catching up with some old friends, and Scott was clearly in his element, entertaining everyone with his jokes and mischievousness, unsurprisingly, getting quite merry. It wasn't long before Papsi noticed a shift in Scott's behavior as he interacted with some of the other partygoers, prompting him to nudge me and suggest I get Scott home.
 
It was a struggle to guide him to his room, though, and good thing my cousin, Joff, offered to help. "Are you sure you can handle this? Just give me a call if you need a hand," he exclaimed as we finally put Scott into his bed.
 
"Thanks, Joff. It's a bit of a hassle, and he got plastered pretty early on. We barely had a chance to kick off the karaoke!" I groaned.
 
"Yeah, it looks like your pal's not accustomed to our local gin. He tapped out pretty quick," Joff observed with a chuckle.
 
"Exactly, high roller that he is. Thanks again for the help," I said gratefully.
 
"All right, well, I'm heading off to bed. Good night, Danni," Joff said, giving me a pat on the back before departing.
 
As I settled in for the night, Scott's drunken antics raised questions in my mind. It was clear that he was comfortable in his own skin, perhaps too comfortable. I couldn't help but wonder if his easy charm was genuine or just part of the act he seemed to effortlessly slip into.
 
I was hesitant about taking care of Scott at first, as it was his willingness to accompany me that brought about this obligation. Now that things seemed to be back on track, I found myself irritated once more. It's frustrating because each time something positive occurs in my life or day, he manages to spoil it when he's not acting like himself.

At times, I'm tempted to believe that he is the unfortunate influence that entered my life, bringing bad luck with him. However, deep down, I can't dismiss the fact that since meeting him, some of the happiest moments in my life have unfolded in his company when we were both true to ourselves. But now, I'm uncertain about where we stand. It makes me wonder if he really is the reason for my happiness or if there's something more complex at play. Despite the confusion, I can't deny the impact he still has had on me and the positive moments we have shared together.
 
The following morning, Scott emerged from a deep slumber, roused by the unpleasant aftermath of his overindulgence the previous night. The telltale signs of his hangover were evident to all of us, prompting my concerned mother to swiftly administer some much-needed relief in the form of medicine. Had it not been for the intervention of our household's companions, Scott would have continued to endure the lingering effects of his revelry, while I, on the other hand, was still grappling with the persistent streak of misfortune that seemed to have taken up residence in my life.
 
"So, when are you heading back to California? It's been a whole month; aren't you itching to escape this island life?" I inquired, tinged with sarcasm.
 
"Well, I never get tired of being in your company, Danni," Scott countered.
 
"Ugh, give me a break. You're so annoying," I shot back.
 
"Deep down, you know you still care about me," Scott persisted with a grin.
 
"What if I never cared for you genuinely, and it was just some infatuation with your celebrity status?" I exclaimed in frustration.
 
I came to a realization when I saw Scott's mood change after what I said. It made me wonder if my feelings for him were genuine or if they were just because of his celebrity status. I couldn't shake off the feeling that maybe I was just the "fan," and he was my idol. The fact that people judged us and looked at us in a certain way also added to my doubts.
 
"I've been thinking a lot about love, Scott. People love each other for various reasons: admiration, adoration, idolization, and more. I'm trying to figure out where I fall on that spectrum. And when you rejected me, it took away my ability to truly love you for who you are and our potential future together."
 
Scott responded, "I know I messed up. I wish we had been more open with each other. Maybe we could have understood each other better then. Maybe what we had before shouldn't just be cast aside because we're uncertain now."
 
I nodded, understanding his point. "We can always start, I guess."
 
"We can, but it depends," he pondered.
 
"Yeah."
 
It was clear that both of us were struggling with the aftermath of our past mistakes. The possibility of salvaging something between us seemed a bit more hopeful for that conversation.