The Story of Us - Hyunlix - Hyunho

Home Is Where The Heart Is Pt.II

Felix's POV

The years passed by like a dream. It is funny how you can become so used to having everything you want, your dreams coming true, your desires fulfilled, that you do not notice how it becomes a habit, a constant. You do not think that anything is going to change, that you may lose something you took for granted, that you may not want what you once craved with all your heart, what you loved with every fiber of your being.

Hyunjin-ah...

We've been living in our own apartments for a while now, ever since the guys started enlisting in the military. Chris and I took one together and Hyunjin got one by himself in the same building complex, which was quite convenient, I won't lie. I can spent my time with him in his apartment without anyone being the wiser. Because, as expected, we kept our relationship private. 

I am not complaining. It does take a toll on both of us, though.

After careful consideration, it was decided that Minho and Hyunjin would be the first to enlist, leaving behind our main creative trio behind with all the younger members, to produce and present solo projects alongside 3racha. Not that the two of them didn't have an abundance of content prepared before they left. They both worked so hard, exhausting themselves with tight schedules and little to no time to rest.

I would be lying if I said I was ok with Hyunjin being gone for so long. 18 months... I shuddered at the thought of not being able to see him everyday. By now, I was used to spending almost every night with him. The first couple of months of his enlistment were difficult for both of us. Fortunately, I had plenty of things to do to occupy myself. The second draft took away everyone else, 6 months before Minho and Hyunjin were set to come back. Only Chris and I were left active. We worked a lot on preparing new stuff, doing solo projects and communicating with our fans. We also took much longer vacations, spending more time back home, visiting our families.

Can I really still call Sydney home after some many years in Seoul? But my family is there, so I guess it will always be home while my bandmates are my second family and my home away from home. Especially you, Hyunjin-ah... You'll always be my home. I often went toyour apartment and spent time there alone, surrounded by your paintings, all the things you love, your scent, anything to feel you close to me during your absensce.

When you finally came back Hyunjin-ah, I was overjoyed, ecstatic! But something felt different. Why?

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Hyunjin got discharged together with Minho at the end of Spring. We only had one weekend to spend together before they had to get back to work. I was prepared this time and literally kidnapped him to spend the entirety of the two days in seclusion with him. I missed having him in my arms whenever I wanted, waking up next to him, spending time in comfortable silence while I was reading and he was sketching, all those little moments two people share as a couple.

Coming back to Seoul, Minho and Hyunjin started preparing for their own comebacks which included solo projects and a duet, on top of danceracha where the three of us would perform a brand new song. They danced a cover of a very popular song and another one that they written and produced together. Knowing Hyunjin, I was pretty sure it would be on the sexy steamy side and I was right. And the choreography was exactly that. Both of them were on fire! They executed it flawlessly, taking the fans and the industry by storm once again. I always envied how good they look dancing together. Their movements were complimentary and fluid. Even though their dancing styles differ significantly, they harmonize so well...

Did that bother me? Just a little, I guess.

And Hyunjin... He was different. More confident, more... sensual. He looked like a divine creature, so ethereal, so charismatic while Minho was  equally charismatic but more 'earthy'. Maybe this is why they compliment each other so well, they are opposites in a way. Did I feel lacking? I don't know. I kept reminding myself that this charismatic man is my man. During his enlistment he never stopped making me feel his love and affection, even when we couldn't see each other for weeks.

With the four of us now working on new material, laying the groundwork for new songs, choreos, v-logs and anything else that we could share with our fans, another year passed like a breeze until we were finally back together all of us, preparing hard for our latest comeback with our original 8 line-up. As before, everyone was excited and eager to show our work to the public. We were pushing or were already over 30 by now, except Chris - he was well over the threshold, Seungmin kept reminding him. We were more mature as people and as artists. A new era was about to begin for us and everyone was excited.

But sometimes life has other things in store. It brings unexpected changes or rather changes we never paid much attention to but were already set in motion.

Seungmin was the first to announce he was getting married, with a child on the way already. Caught us all by surprise! "It is always the quiet ones!" Chris chuckled when Seungmin shared the news with us. He was staring affectionately at our little puppy, wipping a fake tear from his eye. Everyone laughed as we congratulated Seungmin and started throwing out ideas for his bachelor party while he dismissed each and everyone of them, declaring that he did not trust us. Hyunjin was the quieter, as usual. He was watching the rest of us with a wistful look on his face. I stopped and stared at him in bewilderement. Did he want this, as well? I knew he loved children but, did he want to get married and have children of his own? We never talked about it and I never gave it much thought, that this would be something he could never do with me. My heart sank. It was yet another downside to our relationship, a relationship that wasn't public due to its nature, in a society that did not view it under a positive light. We never announced it to anyone outside our families. We kept things private even though our company and our managers were always there to support us and cover our backs. I suddenly felt self conscious. Sadness overwhelmed me. Doubts and guilt flooded my mind and heart. I started having second thoughts about us. I was so stressed about it that I couldn't sleep. Hyunjin immediately noticed my anxious state and kept asking what was wrong, if there was any problem between us or in general, what he could do to help, how he could do things better and easier for me, for us. Always so considerate and careful around me. But it had a different effect than what he sought for: I started to suffocate. I became distant.

My world shifted. Something felt different. Why?