The Publicity Stunt - Ryden

Chapter 16: better off as lovers

We didn't talk much after my shower. We didn't have much to say to each other. Actually, I had a lot of things I wish I could say to him, but I was too scared to say them out loud. I wanted to call him out. I wanted to tell him how in love with him I was, but the words didn't leave my lips.

He had force fed me two times already, and in the silent moments he took my hand, squeezing it lightly as if his reassurance would fix anything.

"We should call your therapist. You know? Get you some help." Brendon suggested before my second meal. No, I didn't want that. Admitting to my therapist that I had actually fallen in love with Brendon would mean I would have to say it out loud, and that wasn't fucking possible. I couldn't admit it to anyone.

His eyes were bright as they looked into mine. "What's wrong?" He whispered. It was the tenth time he asked me this today. I would have shrugged him off again, but he was looking at me with those fucking eyes and I couldn't help but speak up.

"What's wrong is that I hate you. I hate what you've done to me." I admit, not exactly telling him what the real problem is.

"What did I do to you Ryan!?" He groans. I've been short to him all day, it was only a matter of time before he became pissy.

"Ask that guy with the tattoos." I spit out.

"Andy!? My manager?" He asks with a brow raised. What? Manager? I... I just assumed he wanted to fuck the guy, but now that I looked back on it, they were talking the same way me and Sarah would and... Fuck, I'm an idiot. He wasn't flirting with anyone in front of me. "Babe, you know I only really like you..." My eyes widen a his admission and i tilt my head up to look at him with a raised brow.

"That's kind of extreme to say to a fake boyfriend." I let out with a soft chuckle. I'm nervous. Brendon knows me well enough to know that the way I'm scratching my neck is a nervous tick.

"Is it? Fuck, Ryan... I know it was fake but... Sometimes it felt kind of real. Maybe that was just me feeling it but..--"

"It wasn't just you." I admit easily, staring into his eyes now. Maybe I'm too open right now, maybe I need to just kick him out and get over him, but I can't. I love him.

"I started falling for you..." He admits and suddenly I'm leaning forward, pressing my lips to his quickly. He kisses back and let's his hand find my cheek. His lips are sweet. They taste like cherry Chapstick and I can't help but smile on his lips at the taste. When the fuck did he start wearing cherry Chapstick?

He pulls away at my smile and mocks it without knowing. "What the hell was that for?" The smile on his lips is obvious, and I can see a soft blush on his cheeks. "I thought you were done with me." His smile slowly turns into the classic Brendon smirk that I know and love.

"I'm really bad at giving up the people I love." I let slip, blushing softly at the sudden proclamation I've made. Fuck, I let it out. I let it slip that I love him.

He's blushing like a fucking mad man. His lips part slightly in what I can only assume is complete shock. "You should appreciate that... Because I don't really do love. Not really my thing." I laugh softly to myself, scratching just under my ear.

"That was the worst 'i love you' I've ever heard." Brendon says with a smirk. I roll my eyes at him and let him cuddle into my side, on the bed. "Ry... I um... When we broke up I guess I realized that you meant so much more too me than I thought you did. I fucking missed you so much I could barely sleep. So I guess what I'm trying to say is... Um...." He looks nervous. His chest and face are flushed and his hand starts shaking when they he reaches out for mine. "I love you too. So fucking much."

My heart is beating so fast that I don't think I can breath. All the pain in my heart quickly leaves as I repeat his words over and over in my head.

He loves me. So fucking much.