Jegulus Oneshots ♡

The Broom Closet

"Sirius, what's-"

"Listen, Reg," Sirius interrupted his brother. "I love you, okay? But if you ask me another question about James, I will not hesitate to hex your fucking face off."

"But-"

"Do not but me! If you're so interested in James, oh... here's an idea! Why don't you go ask James, genius?"

"How dare you assume I'm interested in him!" Regulus exclaimed, offended. Sirius turned slowly and dramatically to gawk at him, and Remus laughed silently from the bed. "What's so funny?"

"Do you think you're not interested in him?" Remus questioned, chuckling, as Sirius stared at his brother like he was an alien with five eyes.

"Me? Interested in James Potter?" Regulus asked, horrified. "That's disgusting! Why would I like that prick, with his stupid pretty eyes and his stupid smirk and-"

"Not interested in him, my arse, Regulus," Sirius exclaimed, then he began to mimic Regulus in a high pitched voice. "Oh, disgusting James with his pretty brown eyes and pretty lips that I want to kiss-"

"Shut up!" Regulus screamed, a blush taking over his cheeks. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Welcome to what I have to deal with every fucking day," he muttered, crossing his arms.

"I never said he was pretty," Regulus argued.

"You-" Remus began, before he started laughing again. "You literally just fucking said, and I quote, Why would I like that prick, with his stupid pretty eyes?"

"No, I absolutely did not!"

"Yeah, okay, whatever helps you sleep at night," Sirius grumbled. "Now, get out of my dorm. I'll see you tomorrow."

As soon as Regulus closed the door, Sirius whipped around to face Remus.

"We have to do something about him. I can not stand another day of hearing him constantly obsess over Prongs," Sirius whined. "I've dealt with this for, what, three and a half months now? I'm done. We have to do something."

"What something do you have in mind?" Remus questioned.

"I don't know! Set them up! Lock them in a broom closet! Something!"

"Lock them in a..." Remus repeated, laughing. "Or, you know, we could be civil and force them on a date to Hogsmeade."

"No. My suggestion was better."

"I can't argue with you, can I?"

"Nope."

"Well, in that case, I'm not even going to try," Remus said, scooting over on his bed. "Now, get over here and let me cuddle you."

~~~

*The next morning, walking to the Great Hall for breakfast.*

Remus glanced back at Regulus and James, who were engaged in a discussion about who knows what as they trailed behind Remus and Sirius. "Are you sure you want to do this? They seem to be doing pretty well on their own."

"Moons," Sirius muttered. "This happens every morning, and it doesn't help anything. We just have to... give them a push in the right direction."

"More like a shove into a broom closet," Remus mumbled back, and Sirius chuckled. 

"Same thing."

~~~

*After breakfast.*

Regulus and James walked ahead of Sirius and Remus this time, which was perfect. They walked down the corridors, unknowingly right towards a broom closet. Sirius and Remus shared a glance as the open closet door came into view. Lily, who had also been involved in this plan, stood behind the door, out of view.

Sirius counted down silently from 3 before Remus ran up behind James and Sirius behind his brother, covering their eyes and throwing them into the broom closet. Lily slammed the door and locked it, winking at them.

"Plan Get James and Reg together is underway," she announced proudly. "Meet me back here in an hour to let them out."

~~~

*At lunch*

James and Regulus had disappeared after Sirius, Remus, and Lily had "unknowingly stumbled upon the closet and helped them out." No one saw them again until lunch. Sirius took this as a success.

"So," Remus began, glancing at Regulus, who was sitting beside James at the Gryffindor table. "How was your morning?"

"Uneventful," Regulus muttered in reply, but Sirius could tell that was a lie. He knew his brother.

"Liar," Sirius cut in. "Don't act like we can't see James holding your hand under the table. You're not slick."

Regulus huffed, his face going red as James looked away.

"Mhm..." Lily hummed, a smug smirk on her face. "I'd say the plan was successful."

"What plan?" James and Regulus asked in unison.

"Oh, nothing," Sirius replied innocently. "Don't worry about it."

~~~

Regulus didn't pretend to ignore Barty, Evan, and his other Slytherin friends passing galleons to each other when he sat with James at the Gryffindor table. Stupid gits. 

~~~

*After lunch*

"So, are you two officially together now?" Remus asked, walking beside James. Regulus walked close to James' other side, their elbows brushing as they took steps. 

"Who, me and that twit?" Regulus asked sarcastically, and James put his hand over his heart in mock offense.

"I am not a twit! How dare you call your boyfriend a twit!"

"Well you are!"

"No-"

"Reg, you didn't deny the fact that he referred to himself as your boyfriend," Remus pointed out, and Regulus froze. 

"Yes I did," the Slytherin argued. "He's not my boyfriend."

"My God, drop the act." Remus rolled his eyes. "Everyone's fine with it."

Regulus huffed again, but didn't stop James when he put his arm around the Slytherin's shoulder.

Sirius and Lily's shouts of "Finally!" came from behind Remus, James, and Regulus as they walked. Regulus rolled his eyes, but James chuckled.

"You're welcome for locking you in the broom closet, by the way," Remus muttered to James, winking before turning and heading back to Sirius.

~~~

A/N: I'm SO sorry I took this long to post something... a lot of stuff has been going on and I just haven't had any time or motivation. I'm running out of ideas, please give me suggestions :(

Word count: 926